Who are you, what is your purpose at UVA, and where do you belong? These are questions I continue to ask myself, even as a second-year student. It’s a journey of self-discovery, and I want to share some lessons I’ve learned along the way, along with a bit of advice for those who might be feeling similarly uncertain.
Lessons I’ve Learned:
1. The college experience is like the “American Dream” — entirely subjective and different for everyone.
This is the single most important realization I’ve had during my time at UVA. I came to college with the notion that I would transform into a social butterfly, with endless energy for both academic work and social activities. I imagined myself joining countless clubs and going out every weekend, but the reality was quick to set in. After a few weeks, I felt off-balance and disappointed. I hadn’t turned into the person I thought I would be, and it seemed like everyone else was living that ideal college life while I was somehow falling short.
After taking a step back, I realized my mindset couldn’t have been more far off from the truth. The reality is, everyone’s college experience is different. There’s no “right” way to do it. It’s okay if you’re the quiet one studying while your friends are out partying, or if you prefer downtime to the non-stop rush of activities. College is not about meeting someone else’s expectations — it’s about writing your own. The more you embrace where you are right now, the more authentic and fulfilling your experience will be. Let your own path unfold, even if it looks different from what you imagined.
2. Two dimes are just as valuable as 20 pennies.
Some people may prefer to have a huge circle of friends to feel included, but I’ve found that having a few close friends is just as meaningful. Sure, it’s nice to have different groups for various activities — club friends, class friends, party friends. But at the end of the day, it’s the few people who know the ins and outs of you that can make the biggest impact.
I’ve found my place in those few close friends who have supported me through the blips of being a college student. You don’t need 20 acquaintances to feel fulfilled; sometimes, having a few people who understand your narrative and care about you is all you need.
3. It’s okay to change your mind.
When I started college, I had a clear picture of who I thought I’d be and what I’d accomplish. But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized that it’s okay to let go of those old expectations. Maybe you thought you’d be the ultimate academic achiever, but you’ve found that your heart lies in the social scene. Or perhaps you entered as an engineering major and now find yourself drawn to art. That’s okay. Changing your path is only another sign of growth.
Keeping an open mind and embracing the possibilities around you is key to finding your place and purpose. Don’t be afraid to switch things up if you feel drawn in a new direction. Flexibility is a strength, not a weakness.
What if You’re Still Unsure?
If you’re reading this and still feeling unsure or out of place, don’t worry — that’s normal. The next step is to start putting yourself out there. Explore new opportunities — join clubs, try out for sports teams, audition for acapella, participate in academic groups, or dive into any other interest that excites you. The key is to push beyond your comfort zone. I know how overwhelming it can be and the lingering anxiety that is constantly asking “Is this worth it?” But once you take that first step and immerse yourself in something new, you’ll find countless doors opening.
If doing it alone seems daunting, find a buddy who’s feeling the same way. Chances are, someone in your classes, housing, or campus events is also looking for their place. You can explore these new opportunities together and support each other along the way.
Embrace the journey
Who you are, what your purpose is, and where you belong are questions, you’ll likely ask yourself for the rest of your life. And maybe that’s the point — perhaps our purpose is to keep searching, to keep growing, and to keep evolving as we move through life. College is just one part of that ongoing process. I’m grateful to UVA for creating an environment that allows me to ask these questions and explore my answers. Whether you find the answers or not, you can always find your place in searching for them.
