Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Life > Experiences

Learning To Say No: Setting Boundaries For A Healthier College Experience

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UVA chapter.

In college, it can feel like you’re constantly being pulled in multiple directions—whether by academic commitments, social invitations, or extracurricular activities. With so many opportunities and expectations, it’s so easy to overextend yourself. However, learning to say no is crucial for protecting your mental health and creating a more balanced, fulfilling college experience. 

Why Setting Boundaries Matters

Saying yes to everything might seem like the best way to get the most out of college, but it often leads to burnout. When you take on too much, you end up stretched thin, unable to give your full attention to anything. You also risk neglecting your personal well-being as you prioritize everyone else’s needs over your own. Setting boundaries allows you to regain control of your time and energy. It helps you focus on what truly matters to you—whether it’s your academic goals, your mental health, or your close relationships.

How to Set Boundaries in Relationships

In college, friendships, romantic relationships, and even family dynamics can test your ability to set boundaries. It’s important to communicate your needs clearly and assertively, whether that’s needing alone time to recharge, asking for emotional support, or standing firm on your personal values. I always felt scared, but you shouldn’t be afraid to say no to social invitations if you need time for yourself. It’s okay to prioritize self-care over constant socializing, and true friends will understand your need for balance. There is something to be gained out of saying no, and you shouldn’t always expect people to react badly to you when you say no. If they do then that’s on them because you shouldn’t be guilted into doing anything you don’t want to. 

Setting Boundaries in Academics and

Extracurriculars

It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking on too many extracurriculars or saying yes to every study session, but this can lead to stress and exhaustion. Set realistic limits on how much you can handle, and give yourself permission to step back from commitments that no longer serve you. In academics, it’s important to manage your workload by setting achievable goals. You’ll excel more if you give your all into a 1 or 2 things than not perform that well while trying to do multiple things all at once. Don’t hesitate to ask for extensions or help when needed, and don’t feel guilty for dropping a course or skipping a club meeting to prioritize your well-being.

The Power of Saying No

Saying no doesn’t mean you’re missing out, instead, it means you’re choosing what’s best for you. When you set boundaries, you free yourself from the pressure of overcommitment and make room for the things that truly enrich your college experience. By protecting your time and energy, you’ll find that you can be more present, focused, and fulfilled in the areas of your life that matter most. Learning to say no is not only an act of self-care, but also a powerful step toward a healthier and more meaningful college experience.

Finally…

Personally, I struggle so much with saying no, so I understand how hard it can be to get out of that habit. This year, I was pushed so hard in so many different directions that I was forced to start saying no, since I had to prioritize myself and my goals more than anything else just to get by how I wanted to. I can honestly say that it helped me to start treating myself better by understanding what I needed and not settling on what I wanted just to satisfy someone else or just out of fear of any conflict that would happen if I said no. When I started saying no, I literally stopped wasting time agreeing to and doing things that I didn’t really want to do in the first place, since failing to say no trapped me in so many ways that don’t necessarily feel comfortable to be in. I’m still learning to say no more effectively so just be patient with yourself and start small, that way you can ease into it and get more accustomed to it as you go. Start by just saying it once and seeing how it goes. It can be hard to feel like you’re giving up opportunities or have FOMO but sometimes a decision like that can help you in the long run. We can’t do it all or be everywhere all the time, so we have to sit with ourselves and understand what we’re willing to sacrifice and what we want to prioritize, as well as how that plays into our own personal needs and aspirations. This little change has had a huge impact on my life and I was only able to get there by stepping out of my comfort zone because I honestly don’t like to say no. However, knowing my boundaries and setting them helped my relationship with myself and gave me less regrets than I thought I’d have.

Hi! My name is Roba Metwally and I am a third year student at the University of Virginia. I am on a Pre-Law path, therefore, I am majoring in Political Philosophy, Policy, and Law and minoring in Public Policy and Leadership in the Frank Batten School at UVA. I want to go into criminal law by helping the wrongfully convicted and eventually having my own firm. Outside of her campus, I am a Co-director of Student Legal Services under Student Council, a Resident Advisor for UVA housing and residence life, a member of SWAP@UVA and a member of the Egyptian Student Association. I am from Fairfax Station, Virginia but I have lived in Canada and England. I'm Egyptian and Palestinian. I speak Arabic and a little French. I love traveling and just recently did a study abroad program in Morocco for 2 months. I am the youngest daughter, a night owl, and I love cats!