I’m sure it’s everyones dream to venture to the Western world of many of our ancestors, but for nearly all, that time has not come yet – the travel bug is yet to be caught. However, tell me why I, as a good ole Texan girl living in the boonies, was given the opportunity to backpack around Europe for six weeks with my boyfriend? Best parents of the year award? More like the lifetime award for best parents! Yet, quite frankly, the traveling and magically glorious history of every city didn’t excite me: I know, being a left brain dominant being does not allow for appreciation of the romanticism of the European world. Instead, for the whole eight hour plane ride across the Atlantic, which is another fiasco in itself, I couldn’t sit still imagining all of the nice foods and delicatessens that I will be shoving, hopefully somewhat gracefully, into my bottomless pit that doesn’t even justify itself as a stomach. I was about to explore and learn the history of famous and ancient cities through a taste-bud wonderland the famous local favorites.
Now, I’m not going to sit and tell you the quirky facts and details about each place, because let’s be honest, there’s only so many Harry Potter, Jack the Ripper, Arnold Palmer, and grumpy Parisian jokes we can handle. So, to save you the time, effort, and money of traveling thousands of miles away from the comfort of the uniform American culture bubble, I willingly “took one for the team” and ventured by myself, providing the good, bad and definitely ugly of much of the food across Western Europe: You’re Welcome (Awkward reference).
The Good:
With so many restaurants and so many foodgasmic entrees and options, choosing the “good” foods was probably (most definitely) one of the hardest things I have had to do thus far. Starting in Paris, one of the most romantic and dirty cities in the world, mussels was number one on my “To-Do” list! The crustacean creatures’ slimy texture with a hint of garlic was just too much for my tongue to pass up! Parisian food isn’t the best in the world, but they do indeed have quirky names – I’m not sure whether that’s just from the intriguing accents or they are actually just trying to humor us Americans – such as “Hippopotamus”….. Yum? Just kidding! It was actually delicious and the closest to a worthy hunk of steak that I could find (hence why I devoured it so quickly and didn’t get to snap a shot of the juicy goodness! Woops!). But, I couldn’t just stay in the Parisian world forever, so I indeed went south to Nice and Monte Carlo: I know, sounds fancy, but don’t worry, I was still just a broke student living off of meal deals! However, I did get great seafood, such as fire-grilled salmon and cream smothered trout (let’s be honest: anything with cream on top is classified as “good”). If you ever find yourself in the south of France and you don’t go for the seafood dishes 3 meals a day, you are doing it wrong.
The Bad:
I’m surprised I even made this a category, because literally nothing that wandered into my mouth was defined as bad, but, I guess I could be super nit-picky. Poor France got hit hard with this one, starting in Paris with some strange, dry, crunchy baguette filled with even drier tuna dolloped with a random egg….and this was supposed to be a tuna salad sandwich? There is some cultural miscommunication going on here, because that my friend is definitely not the creamy tuna salad I was expecting. Speaking of creaminess, another Parisian delicatessen, the over-herbed lentil salad with onion that every local seems to eat on the daily, was in dire need of cream (or just liquid in general); but, the beautiful fish of Nice was covered in too much cream (I know, that somewhat contradicts my statement said earlier, but it’s true). So, in my perfect European world, adding the heavy ladled cream from the fish in Nice to the two poor dishes in Paris would’ve solved all of my problems and made this trip all that much better! Yet, nothing beats the scenery and company that came with each meal, thus, there really was nothing to complain about.
The Ugly:
“Ugly” is kind of a negative word, but in this sense, it is the most positive a word can get. In my case, these items were consumed so much and in such great portions that it was just downright ugly to watch me devour them. In France? The famous Niḉoise Salad with its perfectly peppered perfection and Laduree with their magnificently moise macarons (although expensive) were a constant must. Moving to the UK, Harrods’ ice cream parlor was visited far too many times for a small broke American girl, but the churned ice cream sundae creations were just too tempting to pass up! Now, all of these items were fabulous, living up to their name and making Europe look even more spectacular than ever. But then….I came across the Haggis. Oh Scotland, how you produce such strange concoctions. I really wanted to conform and hate the stuff: Haggis, Neeps (parsnips), and Tatties (potatoes). Unfortunately, I am officially one of the few who are absolutely and unconditionally in love with it. I mean, it’s not that weird is it? Doesn’t everyone love a ground up ball of the innards and leftovers of sheep, cows, goats, etc. encased in a sheep stomach and cooked to perfection…?