So, you’re in a long distance relationship and all you want to do is cuddle with your SO right now? Me too.
When the thing you value most in a relationship is being near to the person you love, a long distance relationship can prove itself to be quite difficult. Whether it is cuddling, holding hands, sex, kissing, sleeping next to your partner, sitting on the couch together, or anything else, long distance relationships tend to lack in the physical affection department. As someone who’s currently in this situation, I’ve come to realize a few helpful things.
- Value communication
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My boyfriend and I facetime every night (give or take), and catch each other up on how our days were, how we’re feeling, express how much we miss each other, etc. Sometimes just talking on the phone and seeing their face isn’t enough, and my boyfriend and I have both gotten into really weird phases where we don’t express how we feel in a productive manner.
For example, a couple weeks ago I felt really down because I missed him and my mom (aka my support system), and I started to communicate how lonely I felt by threatening to break up with him. It made zero sense for me to do this, and after Austin caught on to what was happening, we had to have a pretty serious talk about it (over the phone, of course). I’m over that phase now, but it made me realize it’s important your SO understands how you communicate with them. If not, I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding in what is said, especially over text messages, which brings me to my next point.
- Don’t hold grudges
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A lot can be miscommunicated over text. Honestly, thank goodness for emojis because they’re actually quite helpful in conveying the tone and intent of a text. However, if your S/O and you don’t vibe with emojis, then a lot of mini-arguments can ensue due to miscommunication. If you hold anything against them, whether it’s something they said in a text, on the phone, or something they’ve done in person, you really can’t afford to hold a grudge in a long distance relationship. Shutting someone out and cutting all communication with them as a form of silent treatment doesn’t solve any problems. It is much better to attempt to talk about it over the phone, however unsatisfying that may be, and solve the issue.
- Make the most of your limited time together
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When I go to visit Austin or he comes to visit me at UVa, we spend ALL of our time together. He has friends who go to UVa that he could hang out with, but we both realize how precious a weekend with each other is. Even though I sometimes feel like a total bum when I visit him, we love sitting on the couch and watching TV together, cuddling and chatting about life, and you know… kissing and having sex. Even though in these winter months it has been hard to do much besides stay inside together, I value every second I have with him, no matter what we are doing. However, I can’t wait for spring and warm weather so we can start walking along the James River and play disc golf again!
For me, our long distance relationship has turned into a waiting game of when I can see Austin in person next. However, I never take for granted our phone calls, texts, and gifts we mail each other. If you truly love someone, you can make long distance work no matter what your love language.