Every year thousands of girls don the same five costumes with varying degrees of caustic confidence. I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear these costumes, they’re classics for a reason, but if you’ve ever wondered what your choice of overused Halloween attire says about you, here’s your comprehensive guide.
- Frat Brother
-
People only make fun of the things they love. If you’re dressing up as a Frat Boy you probably have a few friends in greek life and are probably borrowing their idiosyncrasies for the evening.
- Spice Girls
-
You’ve got a tight group of girl friends and you can’t wait to spend Halloweekend with them, but you’ve got some drama on the backburner. Even if they aren’t saying it, someone is mad that they got stuck being Ginger Spice. Be prepared for every person you cross paths with to break out in spontaneous, unrequested singing, of the “tell me what you want, what you really really want” variety. People will know you’re the Spice Girls, but they won’t ever be able to remember who is who, and based on your level of inebriation, you probably won’t remember either.
- Fruit T-Shirt
-
DIY is your lifeblood and Instagram is your alter. After you’re done taking posed pics you’ll probably put aside some time for the planned candids. Captions are very important to you and you’ll spend more time inventing, soundboarding, and revising one than you will in your actual costume. You’re the kind of hipster that would never call herself a hipster and you probably own more than two pairs of Vans. Be prepared for an onslaught of fruit puns and if you have elected to be a pineapple, make the former a double.
- A Cat
-
Maybe you wanted to be something cute and simple. Maybe you wanted to be Pam from The Office. Maybe you watched Mean Girls and decided that a bunny was too much. Whatever the inspiration, you fall into one of two categories. Your favorite book is either Jane Eyre or a collectables CatWoman Comic. You’ve either been planning this for months or you threw it together at the last second. By the end of the night you’ll end up wasted in an Uber you don’t remember calling or watching Twitches and eating ghost shaped rice crispy treats with a Pinterest Perfect Movie Night aesthetic. The dichotomy of the cat costume is real, so don’t assume that every Cat Girl is looking for the same Halloween.
- Bob Ross and His Painting
-
You’re a Youtube fanatic with a quirky sense of humor. You find joy in being different, even if in the process of being different you wind up being exactly like everyone else. You say you love the dollar store, but have only shopped there twice. You keep lots of plants in your room but keep forgetting to water them. You can quote The Office, Parks and Rec, or Arrested Development with frightening accuracy. Most importantly however, you can’t wait to tell people that you’re Bob Ross and every time you do, you’ll assume the iconic pose and probably sport your best impersonation. This impersonation could last anywhere from a couple seconds to half an hour, or might even be an evening-long engagement.