Oftentimes we go about our day-to-day lives without being aware of our boundaries. As a reminder, it’s beneficial to stop and consider the personal boundaries we set, as they help with establishing healthy relationships with others. More importantly, they set up a sense of self-respect and how we go about validating our moral values. While therapists and personal reflection books mention the importance of these guidelines, it can be easily looked past.
As a people pleaser, the fear that others may reject you is very prevalent. It is necessary to take a step back and analyze why you are feeling mistreated and, more likely than not, it is because you may be neglecting your own needs. When there is a lack of standards in relationships, romantic or not, it leaves you feeling drained. You must be transparent with what you want from others, or else people tend to walk over you. In order to achieve this, be communicative by having self-awareness of your own actions and emotions. Naturally, it can be easy to play the victim when you feel someone violates your standards. Rather than trying to control others, try changing the way you choose to react.
Sometimes it takes a situation that brings us out of our comfort zones to recognize that a boundary needs to be put into place. Moving away from home to attend college can bring out a lot of uncertainty in our identities. While you shouldn’t beat yourself up, it is necessary to have set consequences, that way you are holding yourself and others accountable. Just like any other task, you must practice seeing a change occur.
It is so worthwhile to implement boundaries into your daily routine. Physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and materials are all areas in which it is worth sitting down and setting up limits. It is an empowering move for developing our identities. Although this puts us into a place of vulnerability, our mental and emotional health will thank us in the long run. By doing this, you are making your values a priority. You will see your personal relationships strengthen.
*Edited by Atti Shepherd.