Even though it feels like we just got started, it has already been a month into the first fully in-person semester at UVM since before the pandemic. The start of this semester and the return of close-to-normal college life has brought with it a lot of changes. Though most of these changes are positive and a sign that life is getting back to normal, change in itself can be difficult and brings up feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. I know for myself and some of my friends the constant instability of the past couple of years has had a pretty significant toll on mental health and overall wellbeing. With the ever-present opportunity for comparison on social media, it can seem like everyone is having the time of their lives with normal college life back in full swing – has it all figured out with the perfect friend group and is always having fun. Being flooded with content like that can be really isolating in the moments when it feels like your college experience isn’t living up to those picture-perfect projections on Instagram.
As a junior, I’ve had plenty of days at UVM that have felt like the best of my life – where I’ve been perfectly happy, surrounded by people I really love, and content with all the choices I’ve made. But, there have been twice as many days that were really challenging – where I’ve felt overwhelmed by the stress of figuring life out on my own for the first time, confused about where I want to go with my future, and inferior to the perfect versions of classmates that I fabricated in my mind. Struggling in classes and in finding the right group of friends is just a part of college, but it can feel really isolating when everyone else is posting only the happiest, most exciting moments of life on social media. I’m writing this article because there were times, especially when I was just starting out at UVM, that I could have used a reminder that I was not alone in that struggle. I’m hoping that this article could be that reminder for someone who’s feeling that way now.
If the transitions of starting school again have been more overwhelming and anxiety-inducing than fun and exciting then I want to make it clear that you are not alone. For anyone who is feeling lonely, lost, or a bit hopeless my advice is to take solace in the understanding that almost anyone you run into on campus, no matter how put-together they seem, has felt that same way at some point in their time here. Though it can be easier said than done, it is important to be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend that was struggling in the same way. Give yourself the patience to adjust to the difficult changes that this year has brought on.
Something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is that there are so many accessible ways that the stigma around mental illness can be alleviated just by making small changes to how we go about life on an individual level. I often feel overwhelmed by the looming crises, like climate change, that will require massive systemic changes to be resolved because it can feel like individual efforts are meaningless. But making purposeful changes to the way we interact with people in our day-to-day lives can make a genuine impact in improving the growing mental health crisis that is disproportionately impacting our generation.
The most important factor that you can change is how receptive you are to the perspectives and feelings of the people around you. In college, the majority of the conversations we have with our friends and peers are lighthearted. But the way we initially respond to people in our lives when they share something more personal sets up an understanding of what they can expect from you the next time they have something more sensitive to talk about. If you make a concerted effort to be sensitive in those moments, you can become a person that your friends feel safe sharing their vulnerable feelings with. Even if it sounds corny, having that reliable safe space for opening up about things you are struggling with can be a lifeline in the times that struggles with mental illness feel really isolating or inescapable.
The stigma surrounding mental illness can prevent these important conversations from happening successfully between friends and classmates, especially for men. Some of us were raised with this underlying understanding that seeking help or talking through our feelings with others is somehow weak or embarrassing. But I see it the exact opposite way. Being vulnerable with someone about a personal struggle, whether it’s about mental health, substance abuse, assault, or trauma, takes an immense amount of strength, especially in an environment that instills in us a desire to be perceived as cool or confident.
When we are open with each other on that level and receive validating and supportive feedback it is so much easier to see the struggles that come up for what they are because we know we are not alone in that experience. But if you make the effort to be that person for the people in your life, you will likely see that support replicated back when you need it. Feeling comfortable talking about mental health in this way works to shatter the facade that is created on social media, and will create a greater community of people around you who can work to that same effect.
UVM Counseling and Psychiatry Services
(802) 656-3340
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
800-273-8255
VT Suicide Prevention Center
VT Crisis Text Line: Text “VT” to 741741
References: American Psychological Association. (2020, October 20). Stress in America 2020 survey signals a growing national mental health crisis. http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2020/10/stress-mental-health-crisis
Edited by Sam Lacey