Social Anxiety. It’s something a lot of people have, but no one seems to talk about. It can seem like you’ll never be able to make small talk with an acquaintance without panicking, especially in college where everyone seems to be able to talk to anyone with ease, but I’m here to tell you that there are things you can do to help ease some of the anxiety you feel in social situations.
1. Breathe
I know it’s cliché, but taking a moment to focus on your breathing when you feel that anxiety start to creep up gives you something else to think about for that split second, and doing breathing exercises helps shift your focus off of the anxiety you’re feeling. Try breathing in through your nose for a count of 7, holding it for a count of 5, and breathing out through your mouth for a count of 8. Think about the air inflating and deflating your lungs, and with every exhale, imagine the anxiety leaving your body along with the air.
2. Just Do It
I know, it sounds like an impossible task, but how are you ever going to become less anxious if you never expose yourself to social situations? Start small, like asking someone in one of your classes a question about the homework, or asking someone you want to get to know better to get lunch with you. Exposing yourself to the anxiety and dealing with it head-on will help reduce the anxiety you feel in future social situations because you did it once and got through it, so what’s stopping you from doing it again?
3. Ask Questions
Everyone loves talking about themselves. If you find yourself in an awkward conversation and getting anxious, ask a basic question about classes, their hometown, or something that they’re wearing. Compliments also go over really well, and can be a jumping off point for a conversation.
4. Talk to Someone
Talking to someone about what you’re feeling can help a lot, whether it be a friend, family member, or licensed counselor or therapist. Most college campuses have counselors on staff that are free for students to talk to, and they specialize in treating college kids. Even if you’re not comfortable getting professional help, just letting someone else know what you’re dealing with can take some of the stress of dealing with it off of your shoulders. And who knows? Maybe they experience similar things and have some tips for you.
Just remember, you’re not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 15 million American adults suffer from social anxiety. You can, and will, get through this.