When I was in high school, it felt like there were only two post-secondary options: University or College. No one talked about other alternatives, and my young, naïve mind, believed these were the only paths—unless you planned on being broke. I assumed everyone would be in school for the next 2-4 years, depending on their program. It wasn’t until I was a few years into my undergrad that I realized many of my former classmates had carved out their own paths.
Now, I’m at that age where some of my peers use Instagram in the same way our parents use Facebook—to share life updates and milestones with their followers. Whether it’s small things like promoting a school club or major announcements like engagements, I see it all whenever I open the app.
Oddly enough, when I scroll through these updates, I find myself fluctuating between feeling either way behind or ahead in life, depending on the post. Some classmates have switched majors multiple times, while others have dropped out altogether. I, on the other hand, am about to graduate, which makes me feel like I’m ahead. But then I see people my age buying houses, getting married, and expecting kids, and suddenly I feel like I’m falling behind.
We’re often told not to compare ourselves to others, but it’s hard not to. After all, how else am I supposed to gauge whether I’m “adulting” correctly? Personally, I plan to get my degree, join the workforce, and then—somewhere down the line—think about marriage, a house, and kids. If I accomplish all that within the next ten years, I’d consider myself successful. I’m confident in the goals I’ve set, yet when I see others achieving things that are further down on my timeline, I start to second-guess myself. For example, when I notice people my age have already moved out of their parent’s homes—something I don’t plan on doing for a while—I catch myself rationalizing it: “Well, they didn’t go to university, so they’ve had more time.” But why do I need to make excuses to justify their success? Why can’t I just accept that their goals and timelines are different from mine?
Ultimately, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to navigate your 20s. Everyone ages, but how you choose to spend the time between now and then is up to you. Define your goals, decide what’s important to you, and pursue them at your own pace. Remember, what makes your twenties successful is different for everyone. Comparing yourself to others using your own metrics isn’t logical. Do things your way, in your own time, and trust that everything will fall into place when it’s meant to.