I have always been a people pleaser, and have always wanted to be liked by people. I’m not sure where this came from, or why it affects me as much as it does. I would cry when people wouldn’t want to hangout with me or be my friend. I couldn’t understand it. For myself, I would befriend anyone who was willing to befriend me. In a perfect world this is a great concept; to be friends and be close to everyone who you are surrounded by, but realistically, I have come to understand that there is no shame in disliking someone.
Befriending someone just because they wanted to be my friend caused me to, for a long time, have no standards for myself. I am someone who doesn’t judge others. I’m not saying anyone should judge others; I believe everyone should have an open mind and be open to being friends with anyone. However, getting to know someone doesn’t necessarily make them your friend, and realising that someone may not fit with your lifestyle is not judging.
I have lost a lot of friends in my lifetime over things I’m unaware of. Maybe they just don’t like me, or maybe I just don’t mesh with their lifestyle.
However, this year I have also left a couple of friends. It was some of the hardest things I’ve had to do, and it was because of the realization that I did not like them.
It’s hard to realize when you don’t like some of the most important people in your life, and you just were with them out of loyalty. But it’s okay to realize that you don’t like someone.
I didn’t like this person. I didn’t like the way they backstabbed and slandered people, but were nice to their face. I didn’t like how they made fun of people who were overweight. I didn’t like how they got disgusted by people with disabilities. I didn’t like how they emotionally manipulated me. I didn’t like how they never listened. I didn’t like how, because they made me so depressed, I couldn’t find the motivation or energy to move forward with my aspirations. I felt trapped; because I learned to love myself, I left.
There was no shame in just not liking this person. I have only gone up since then. I hope this somewhat inspires anyone who might read this to not stay in relationships, of any kind, in which they don’t truly like the person. Don’t be around people you don’t like, because you will lose the love for yourself that you truly deserve.