Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UWindsor chapter.

With the year coming to an end, now is the time where many people reflect on the past twelve months and begin to set intentions for the upcoming year. As 2025 approaches, I want to share personal rules I live by that align with my goals, values and the mindset I intend to refine in the new year. While these may not work for everyone, I hope that by sharing these mantras and core values, you too can be inspired to think about the standards you will hold yourself to and create a vision for the life you wish to lead. 

  1. I don’t dwell on things that are out of my control 

If I could give any advice to my younger self it would be allocating more time to things that are in my control and trusting the process. You become so much more at peace with yourself when you have no regrets and treat everything as a lesson. Not everything is going to work out exactly how you want it to, no matter how much you want it to. I have also learned that it is best for me to stop trying to control every aspect of life, and learn to let go. I can’t let past mistakes define me, but instead be defined by how I move forward and how I approach each new day. I have also learned to let go of what leaves because what’s meant for me will always come back when the timing is right, and if it isn’t meant for me, there is more space for something even better to enter my life.

  1. Forgive in silence 

Not everyone deserves my forgiveness, but doing so allows me to forgive myself and any resentment or grudges I may carry with me. It will not change the past but it gives me back my future and the power to heal in the most effective way possible. This is easier said than done, but leading with pure intentions and having a kind heart propels growth. It’s not about excusing any injustices done to me, but instead accepting that my peace is a bigger priority than disrupting that of someone else. 

  1. In the end I cannot take everything with me

As cheesy as this sounds, there is so much truth to this statement and it’s an important reminder to think about now more than ever. As a society so much emphasis is put on materialism and how we are perceived externally, and the more people prioritize climbing social ladders and engaging in transactional relationships, the less authentic they become. If you are constantly chasing dopamine from material goods and doing whatever it takes to meet society’s unrealistic standards, you risk losing sight of what truly matters. Pursuing external validation will only get you so far, but your experiences, memories and the lessons you receive are invaluable. Real fulfillment in life comes from within when you pursue your passions, build genuine relationships and choose authenticity over approval.

  1. Old habits do not open new doors

Sometimes we find ourselves repeatedly in the same situations despite knowing it may not be a situation you thrive in. Without putting in the work people may find themselves in those same situations time and time again unless they learn to make changes and build new habits. It doesn’t happen overnight but changing how I react, changing my way of thinking and no longer accepting things I’m not okay with was a good starting point for me. There is power in elimination and one of the highest forms of self-care is the ability to walk away from things that no longer serve you.

  1. Success is subjective

This is something I have struggled to understand in the past as I am guilty of comparison and oftentimes fail to give myself the credit I deserve. It’s easy to get caught up in expectations that society or other people may place upon me, and for that reason it’s important to remember there is more than one road to achieving success. One person’s idea of success may not be fulfilling to someone else and it’s okay to not fit into the societal standards of what success looks like. Success is more than just a degree, a career, building a family or a specific destination. Rather than constantly chasing an end goal, I enjoy the journey getting there, and creating a life that is meaningful to me.

  1. The way I let people treat me is a reflection of how I see myself

Self-worth does not always come easy, but it sets the precedent of how I will allow others to treat me. The more I value myself, the less likely I am to tolerate mistreatment from those around me. I try to commit to knowing my worth and refusing to compromise so that people don’t get away with treating me to a lesser standard. Be aware of the qualities you possess, what you bring to the table, and be confident of the person you are to your core. If someone is unwilling to recognize those qualities, let it be their loss and remind yourself that that is only a reflection of their limitations.

  1. The pain of discipline is better than the pain of regret

Once I realized that the pain of discipline is minimal compared to the pain of regret, decisions  came easier and I was one step closer to committing to my goals. Investing in myself and building productive habits led to growth, accomplishment and a sense of pride. Choosing the pain of regret will result in missed opportunities and the discomfort will linger for much longer than the temporary pain of discipline. It is a privilege to be able to choose what to do with your time and time spent prioritizing your aspirations is never wasted. 

  1. I have a choice

        When things don’t go someone’s way, sometimes the easiest thing for one to do is blame everybody but themselves. Rather than taking responsibility some individuals tend to attribute the outcome to external circumstances and may not always act as if they had a choice in the matter. I have associated with people who act as if their behaviour is a product of the environment around them and have trouble facing the consequences of their actions. Something I value in myself is the ability to own up to my choices and mistakes, and learn how to evolve from them. It’s normal to make mistakes and not always be at your best, but being incapable of recognizing your faults and trying to explain it away is just delaying yourself from accepting the consequences to your behaviour.

  1. One of the most important things I look for in relationships is emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence has always been something I look for in every person that enters my life. When someone is out of tune with their emotions, they are unable to process things in the same way someone who is in control of their emotions would do so. Communication is one of the most valuable parts of any relationship, and a person who is unable to regulate their emotions, may act on impulse and lack the ability to remain rational. Emotionally intelligent people can acknowledge when they compromise their integrity, take accountability for their actions and are capable of admitting to any wrongdoings. Knowing how to make people feel heard, seen, valued and understood is one of the greatest strengths I can possess. I like to surround myself with people that communicate effectively, understand empathy and know how to express vulnerability. This is something I was lucky enough to find in my first long-term relationship as we figured out early on that respecting each other’s opinions whether we agree or not, and having a mutual respect for differing perspectives creates healthy boundaries.

  1. Perspective is everything 

 As J. Cole once said “No such thing as a life that’s better than yours.” My outlook of life determines the level of gratitude I will hold with me and sets the tone for how fulfilled I will feel each day. Always remember that the words you speak become the house you live in. The energy you put into the world, the way you view your life, and the language you use to describe it shape your reality. Appreciating what you already have right in front of you rather than constantly chasing a perfect livelihood is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. As clichė as this sounds, there will always be someone wishing they are in your shoes and desiring the opportunities that you may take for granted. With that being said, there will always be people that seem to have more than you do, but I never let that diminish the value I place on the life that is already in my possession. Be present, remain humble and appreciate the experiences, people and blessings that make your life uniquely yours. 

Julia Rubino

UWindsor '26

Julia is a Neuroscience major at the University of Windsor in Ontario, Canada. She is a writer for HerCampus UWindsor, and loves to be involved in different clubs around campus. When she is not studying, she enjoys spending time with friends, trying new recipes, listening to music or podcasts and going to the gym.