Have you ever heard someone talking about how they “don’t have enough spoons” to complete a task like cooking dinner, having a shower, or even going to work? Chances are, that person isn’t talking about actual spoons that you eat ice cream with – rather, they’re discussing metaphorical spoons that relate to the amount of energy they have as a person with chronic illness.
Created in 2003 by Christine Miserandino in her essay The Spoon Theory, this metaphor has been a way for people with chronic illnesses and disabilities to communicate the amount of energy they have to spend throughout the day. This metaphor is laid out primarily for friends and family who do not have chronic illnesses or disabilities, and who may not understand this rationing of energy. For example, if I have 7 spoons in a given day, I need to choose how I will spend them carefully throughout that day, as each action requires 1 spoon: getting dressed, taking medication, taking public transit or driving to work, eating lunch, etc. The amount of spoons varies day-to-day as well; you may wake up with 3 spoons or 12, and some activities require more than 1 spoon’s use. The only way to regain more spoons is through rest – such as napping throughout the day or after a night’s sleep. It’s even possible to “borrow” spoons from the next day, as Miserandino details in her essay, but that leaves you with even less spoons tomorrow.
Miserandino’s idea behind The Spoon Theory is that living with and taking care of a chronic illness or disability (or even multiple!) takes energy that eats into our energy reserves each day. At the same time, it highlights how those who do not have a chronic illness or disability do not need to ration energy or sacrifice something in their daily life that takes that energy away. Talking ‘spoons’ is an effective way to communicate how energy is rationed and planned throughout a given day.
I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in 2019, and the discovery of The Spoon Theory changed the game for me. I suddenly realized that I wasn’t “lazy” or “unmotivated” – I literally don’t have the spoons (energy) to eat, socialize, do school work, take care of myself through exercise, hobbies, relaxing, and taking medication all in a single day. And on days where I go to my part-time job or have a doctor’s appointment? Forget about it – half of my spoon supply for the day is gone. The Spoon Theory has provided me with a greater understanding of my body and energy levels. It has helped me prioritize not just important tasks that need (or should) get done before I run out of spoons, but it’s also helped me prioritize my own health. I no longer push myself into negative spoon counts each day to ensure I get everything done, which then subsequently left me exhausted and with less spoons for the next day. While I still get frustrated on some days when I wish I could finish a task or start a new one but my energy levels won’t let me, I’ve grown to be gentler with myself and not as critical of my own capabilities.
So when someone you know who has a chronic illness or disability says they don’t have the spoons (or energy) to do something as ‘simple’ as eating dinner or going out to the movies with you, they’re not being “lazy” or a “bad friend” – they truly just don’t have the physical and/or mental capacity for it because they are all out of spoons for the day. For individuals who do not have chronic illnesses or disabilities, their supply of spoons throughout the day does not need to be rationed or monitored as heavily; this is why understanding The Spoon Theory is beneficial, especially if you have friends or family with chronic illnesses and disabilities. Instead of criticizing their lack of “motivation” or energy, extend them some empathy; I know they’ll appreciate you for it. We’re all taking the day (and our spoons) one at a time.