When I was contemplating breaking up with any of my past boyfriends, I would go to my mom for advice. She would ask me these three simple questions. Are you happy with him? Would you be happy without him? Could you be happy for him?
I would always answer yes to all three questions. I knew I wanted to make myself happy, and if I was debating about breaking up with him, I obviously shouldn’t be with him, right? But picturing him with another girl still broke my heart. It’s like that song by the 1975, “I don’t want your body, but I don’t want to see your body with somebody else.” That always seemed to be my life.
You see, I am always wearing my “The Grass is Always Greener Goggles.” What is this magnificent fashion statement you ask? It’s a nasty trend where we assume that we are in the worst position out of the situation, and that there is always something better. We are constantly unsatisfied with what is right in front of us. I discovered this is the worst way to live after my first big heartbreak. After pushing my boyfriend away for a few months, resulting in a breakup, I realized the grass was in fact, not greener on the other side. I not only do this with boys, but jobs, houses, cities, and more often than not- me.
If you are one of the lucky ones, someone who is completely satisfied with everything in her life, well good for you! You no longer have to read the rest of this article. As for the rest of us, I have some good advice from a few lessons that I’ve learned.
If you are contemplating where you are in life, your happiness, your career, your schooling, your friends, your significant other, or whatever else you might be in turmoil about, I need you to stop overthinking this very second. Yes, I know that is near impossible, but I promise it’s the only immediate solution.
The second thing you need to do is realize this: You are exactly where you are supposed to be and the universe will get you where you need to go.
“Wait, so you’re telling me I’m supposed to give up my control and just hope things happen for me?!” Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. And no, not necessarily. Just stop controlling things you don’t have control over and start focusing on the details that will better your life. Notice that you are in this position because it is supposed to prepare you for the future and teach you the lessons that you need so you are not ill prepared for this grand adventure you are about to go on.
One summer I was working at a public pool in my hometown; surrounded by screaming children and ugly orange uniforms, and the next summer I was an intern at a sports agency in downtown Milwaukee and working at Anthropologie on the weekends, while living in my brand-new apartment! Life has a funny way of preparing you for things.
The only simple advice I can give you is this: Work hard. Trust the universe. Love those around you, and be grateful for everything in your life at this moment. You will always be satisfied. And make sure to always, always, always ask yourself these three questions when debating a situation: Are you happy with it? Are you happy without it? Could you be happy for it?