In my previous article, I wrote about “Being Honest with Myself.” And in all honesty, it was very hard for me to write that and then have it published to the public. However, since I have done that and poured out most of my feelings, I wanted to give you all some insight to how “Being Honest with Yourself” can be so incredibly beneficial.
During my previous article, it got super emotional for me. I kept choking up, my eyes glossed over, and I felt so vulnerable. However, it is that same vulnerability that allows me to establish closer relationships to people and even myself. So let’s begin:
Everything You Thought You Had Planned Out, Forget About It:
My academics mean a lot to me and during that time of change in my academic life, I really felt that my whole educational existence was crumbling right underneath my feet. This concept of an education that was to support my future endeavors so I could enjoy life was torn to pieces, and I had to make the decision to put myself on a different but more content path to what I truly wanted. This is all to say that you are going to think you have all of these things planned and figured out in life, but they are never set in stone no matter how planned out you thought you had it. And honestly, do not stress or over think about any of it! There are many things in life that will come and go, and it is all for a reason. I had to take those steps in my academic career to finally feel content and at peace with the path I am on. I still feel stressed about my academics, but I no longer feel like I have no chance at making it through the semester. I finally feel like I am going in the direction I was always meant to, so I am very thankful that I withdrew from one of my courses and changed my major because it turned out to be the plan I never knew I needed.
Relationships Come & Go, But The Universe Already Knew That:
I will go ahead and state my disclaimer that I am not all that religious; I have a very curious soul and almost never settle for just one theory or ideology. You can believe what you want to and insert whatever you would like for “The Universe;” I really do not mind. This, however, relates back to my big “breaking my two year relationship for the betterment of myself” thing. It sounds like a cliche, but there really is no other way to explain it. My relationship had its ups and downs, faults and flaws, and what any other typical relationship would experience. However, I realized that I was growing up and growing out of this “puppy love” kind of dating. Do not get me wrong, I loved my partner and what our relationship had. Adulthood was a severe reality to our relationship though. There were so many things that did not align, and it was getting harder to try to find compromises that we would both be happy with. More recently, I have been really letting it sink in that “everything happens for a reason” and sometimes, it was only ever meant to be a lesson for whatever is next to come into your life. So, again, do not stress or over think any of it! You may feel very defeated and heartbroken, but there are some forces in this world that you cannot escape no matter how hard you try. Let what was meant to come into your life and stay, well, stay. If it was not meant to stick around, then let it go and learn from whatever it was meant to cross your path for. Everything happens for a reason, and some people are just meant to be lessons to learn from.
You Will Learn So Much About Yourself That You Subdued Or Never Knew Existed:
Stemming from that whole breakup, I have learned about myself that I never had the courage to embrace and stand up for as well as things I have been learning that I want more of and more from myself. Yes, my relationship had its ups and downs and while it eventually ended because of those downs, I am learning a lot about those downsides and how they affected me. There are certain aspects I no longer want to put up with and instead, I want to be sure they are no longer present in any future relationships. This goes for my romantic relationships as well as my friendships. I want to receive the same energy I give to others from here on out. I want to establish a better foundation with people before I even consider anything more from them. And while always planning for the future, I want to be able to go with the flow of the river and wherever it wants to take me. From this, I want anyone still reading to be open to all the possibilities life has to offer. Do not get too hung up on what has happened or what could happen and instead, live in the moment. This is a lot easier said than done, especially for those like me who constantly need a plan for everything. But I would like to think that I am making some progress as I go on, and I hope that I just keep learning through the process.
I know there was not too much to learn from this article, but it really is hard to explain in a broad perspective that would actually sound sincere and not some Hobby Lobby wall decor. I hope I gave enough broad generalization with just enough personal experience that will explain where I am coming from. Also, I hope that this was able to get you thinking about your own life and where it may affect you. I know it will not give the same effect on everyone, if it even does at all, but I really hope this helps out anyone who may have needed it.
Until the next one!
hcxo