Written on November 18, 2019
Dear Future Self,
I hope I’ve found you alive and in good spirits.
I hope you’ve recognized that you are worth more than you think. You have second guessed yourself off the strength and feelings of others. You tried to stretch yourself far and wide just to feel worthy of someone’s time, and that’s not how it should’ve been. I’m certain that you’ve found peace within yourself after years of feeling like you had to put on a façade. I love you.
I hope you’ve either found love or are working on finding love. Your teenage years didn’t serve you well, and your young adult years have been full of mixed signals and uncertainty. If you’ve gotten this far in life, I hope I’m speaking to a thirty-something you. You deserve it after all of the years of being friend-zoned, ghosted and played. I hope she’s a beauty. Honestly, I hope she’s the first girl you took on a date, but I digress. You might’ve aimed too high with her. Moving on.
I hope you have a family. Getting married to a best friend has been your life goal, and I know it’ll serve you well. You’ve been preparing for it, red velvet suit and all. I hope you’re actively planning if you haven’t already. Whether you adopt, bear a child, your wife has a child… hell all three… your life will be full. I pray that you’re the best mama you can be. I hope your children will grow up to be the happiest beings on Earth. Give them all the love you can give until you’re blue in the face. Invest in their dreams. Let them express themselves to a fault. Be present and be consistent. The beautiful babies you’ve seen grow up in your family are all grown or getting to that point, and I don’t want you to miss out on that opportunity. Even if you start your family when you’re older, I want you to be happy.
I hope you’re well off into your career. The type of work you want to do will probably keep you away for periods of time, but remember that you were given a second chance, and your degree has gotten you this far. I hope you’ve made a name for yourself out there; enough to afford that rich lifestyle you’ve been trying to imitate all those years. I hope you’ve finally realized that blowing money on things that don’t have value will cripple you. If not, get it together. You grown now.
I hope your parents are proud of you. Most importantly, I hope you’re proud of yourself. They’ve always talked about how proud of you they are of you, but please pat yourself on the back. You’ve made it this far. Congratulations, sis. This isn’t a huge important deal but… I hope you can decorate your living space like those places on Tumblr. You know what I mean. I hope you give present me something to look forward to, ‘cause I won’t stand for crunchy furniture and dull decorations. We stan innovation.
Continue to be that b*tch.
With love + hope,
-Marissa Auriell