Let’s Talk about Sex Baby (Effectively)

Sex is fun. What isn’t fun is not communicating to your partner about what you want. 

Communication is difficult for a lot of us, as it can be mentally draining and awkward. Now add sex into the equation. YIKES!

For a lot of people, it is ten times more tricky to express. From a young age, we a taught that sex is a taboo topic. Therefore, there’s no questions or concerns to be brought up; but now it’s 2020, and we can definitely talk about sex. Here are a few tips on what not to do and how to effectively talk about sex with your partner/lover/one-night stander/etc.

1. Never Assume

Assuming that your partner knows your every want and need in the bedroom will lead to expectations.  If you’re not communicating what you want, then your expectations won’t be met, and everyone deserves to be satisfied in the bedroom. 

2. Show (Option 1)

Sometimes telling your partner what you want isn’t good enough, so give them a visual. Show them what works for you. Only you know what works for you, why not share that with your partner? Plus an extra pair of hands are better than one. 

3. Show (Option 2)

If you aren’t exactly comfortable masturbating in front of your partner, you can also watch videos. Who knows? It might become a fun activity that you guys can do every Saturday night. 

4. Never Get Frustrated

Yeah having an orgasm can be difficult to achieve, but you shouldn’t feel defeated or overwhelmed about the matter. Take your time and don’t overthink when in the moment; relax and let your partner know what is going on. The faster the problem is resolved, the faster you can reach your big O moment. 

5. Be Gentle

Everyone has feelings, so let’s take them into consideration. When explaining what your partner could improve on, don’t pile it onto them. It will then make them feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable, and you won’t get the results you’re looking for. Use phrases like “I think it would be better if we…” or “I like when…” rather than just “You’re not really good at…”.

6. Let your Hands Do the Talking

We all know the hand-guiding trick, so why not put it to good use? With all that touching you guys are doing, you might as well guide your partner to the glorious treasure. 

7. Just Have Fun

Sex is supposed to be a great experience for you and your partner. Laugh about the fact that your shirt is stuck. Try new things and see what your likes and dislikes are. Figure each other out and enjoy yourselves. 

HCXO!

• relationship advice
• sex and relationships