My freshman year of college was quite the “new” experience. New atmosphere. New friends. New classes. New parties. New freedom. And last by not least – new guys. Although all of these new things were about to hit me like a ton of bricks, I wasn’t worried about them. I was more concerned with whether college was for me. Would I be homesick? Is college less of a horrible experience than high school? Am I making the right decision? Can I live with my parents until I grow old and gray? The transition from high school to college was really intimidating to me. I was scared to say the least. Luckily, I was able to adapt and I adapted pretty well. I was making the grades, partying 2 nights a week, and getting enough sleep (FYI, whoever says that that is impossible doesn’t know how to do it right). Initially, guys were the furthest creatures from my mind. I had just called it quits with my high school sweetheart the summer before and at that point no guy was on my radar. That is until I met him.
We started out merely as friends. We both enjoyed one another’s sarcastic humor. We both liked the same music. We even had the same birthday (cray, right?!). We spent countless hours texting, talking, and spending time with one another. We just meshed really well. Eventually, I ended up falling for this guy and from my point of view we were headed towards a relationship. Granted that I’ve only had one boyfriend my entire life, I felt like we were doing all the things that a normal couple did. Months had passed but were we an item? No. I was becoming restless. I was a relationship type of girl. The “talking” phase was never a favorite of mine but here I was just “talking” to someone. So, I decided to approach him with my frustrations and to this day his words resonate through my head, “Just let it flow.”
The smarter part of me wanted to end whatever we had right then and there. Let it flow? Haven’t things been flowing for a while now? But that night as we sat in his car staring at the stars the not-so-smart part of me solemnly agreed to “just let it flow”. I had settled and that settlement eventually led to heartbreak. We were on two different pages. I wanted something more and he didn’t.
What I had endured was a situationship. A situationship is when two individuals become involved with one another and function as a couple but without a title. Sure you may display affection, hang together tough, and share intimate thoughts with one other but unless you two have both agreed to be together you’re really not. Amongst our generation, situationships are so common that they’ve suddenly become the norm. Just the sound of the word “commitment” strikes fear in individuals and sends them running in the opposite direction. So, people resort to the next best thing that doesn’t require an official tie. Situationships are easy; they don’t require the same responsibilities, accountability, or dedication as a relationship. If your “significant other” wants to spend time with another individual they can and the anger and betrayal you may feel is insignificant because as said before you two aren’t tied together.
So, you want to know how to avoid situationships? Simply stand your ground. If you know what you want from the beginning state it. If whomever you’re dealing with doesn’t respect it then send them packing. Reserve your relationship qualities for someone who deserves them. You may have to wait a while for the right one to come along but they’ll definitely be worth the wait. Also, take into account that you’re worth more than a “just a friend” introduction to the public or constantly questioning if you’re valued. If you want more require more and if they can’t meet your standards don’t exceed theirs.