“Shoulding” — it can be done by complete strangers, your acquaintances, classmates, coworkers, friends, family, or even yourself. The advice doesn’t need to be bad to be terrible for you.
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For a while now, I have been under the impression that I should lift more weights. The female fitness world is redefining health — hooray! — into strong reigning superior. Muscles are no longer ordained to the masculine, and squat racks are revered for creating those feminine curves. However, as I was granted access into the weightlifting world by a male friend of mine over 4 years ago, I have adopted some peculiar habits. Upon entering a weight room, I had to begin with an intense warmup of push ups, burpees, and pull ups (to prove to the room that I could, despite being female, do these things) and do some upper body lifts — curls, overhead presses, etc. — to establish my presence in the room. Squats, lunges, hip thrusts, and more were entirely neglected because then I would look like that girl that wants to just get a great butt without “bulking up.” I wanted to show that I am the opposite of the cardio bunny, calorie-deprivating, slowly-fading-away fit chick.
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Yet in all that proving, shoulding, and rebelling, I forgot to find what I loved doing. What that little voice in my deep, deep belly said. That I don’t always like feeling like I’m about to pass out during a heavy lift. That I don’t like telling my friends I don’t have time for them because I’m busy doing the “right” things for my health. That I don’t like having a strong upper body but feel like I have 80-year-old hips because I don’t walk, stretch, dance, swim, or run.Â
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The only people in your life that can tell you what you “should” do are people that you trust to know you and know what’s best for you when you may not be able to see it. Everyone else? They’re just shoulding all over you.