Relationships in College: Is it worth it?

Ah, to fall in love! What a lovely, romantic, and fun concept, right? Well, if it’s during college though, it might not be the best idea. No one ever talks about the downsides of starting a relationship in college–not that having a go-to guy for your sorority’s date party is a bad thing. In fact, there are a lot of pros and cons to dating in college, and Her Campus is here to help you figure out if this is the best idea for you!

Pros:

1. Support: Your boyfriend will always be there to listen to you rant about how much you hate midterms or comfort you if you have a fight with a friend. When your parents yell at you about not having started those grad school applications, he always knows exactly what to do to make you feel better. Who else would buy you broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl from Panera when you catch the Vanderbilt Plague?
2. Activity Partner: He’s got the potential to become your go-to person for grabbing coffee before class or joining you for a major study session in the library. When you see a trailer for a new movie coming out, you know just who to text to go see it with you on opening night. I loved hitting up the midnight premiere of “Iron Man 3” with the guy I was dating at the time!
3. Security: If something goes wrong, you’ve got him right there to back you up. It’s nice to know you’ve got someone looking for you. Even if you dance like an idiot at a frat party, you’ve still got your boyfriend to walk you to your door later that night.
4. Happiness: Falling in love with someone releases dopamine and serotonin in the brain, making you feeling lots of pleasure and can actually help you pay attention. The little things in life will make you happy, and you’ll love having someone who doesn’t mind you stealing French fries off their plate after you’ve already finished all of yours.
5. An Extra Hand: My friend Karey told me she likes having someone who can help her unzip her dress at the end of the night “in a not sexual way, of course! The people in my hall are probably so tired of me asking for their help doing this.” Or maybe you need someone to help you unload your car after a suite supermarket trip. Either way, having a person around to lend an extra hand is never a bad thing.
6. Just Have Fun: If you go out on the weekend, you don’t have to think about dressing up to impress guys (if that’s your thing) or wonder if anyone is going to dance with you. Just go dance with your girlfriends and have some crazy fun! You’ve got someone to go home to at the end of the night, so no more worrying about looking for Mr. Right! Or if your boyfriend comes along for the night, then you’ve got a dance partner for every song. 

Cons:

1. Major Time Investment: Maintaining a positive, healthy relationship takes a lot of time and effort. If you don’t see each other enough, it’s easy for things to crumble apart. A relationship can become yet another thing to add to your crazy, busy schedule as a college student.
2. Jealousy: It’s hard to make a public claim on your boyfriend unless you do the whole Facebook-official relationship route, so you might catch girls flirting with him at parties on the weekends. And you can’t always be there to run over and give him a big kiss! There might be a temptation for him to cheat or for your feelings to get hurt due to jealousy.
3. Your Friends: Speaking of jealousy, your friends might get upset that you’re spending more time with your boyfriend—time that you used to spend with them. It can be hard to find time to hang out with both your boyfriend and your friends and make sure both feel loved and appreciated.
4. Distraction: When you first start dating someone, it can feel so magical and great. It’s all you can think about, but sometimes, that can be a bad thing. It might be hard to stay focused on your homework when you’re daydreaming about that sushi date at Virago on Friday. Also, deliberation time: write that English paper or go play ultimate Frisbee on Alumni Lawn with your boyfriend? It can become ultra tempting to choose hanging out with your boyfriend over schoolwork, and your grades can drop quickly.
5. Stress: If you get into a fight with your boyfriend, it can stress you out and ruin your week. Your emotions get all out of wack, and it can really throw you off your game. And sometimes, relationships can turn sour and become unhealthy and abusive. Dealing with a controlling boyfriend is an incredibly stressful and terrible experience, and it is definitely not something you want to go through while trying to get your degree. Also, when it comes time to graduate, the stress of figuring out how to either end or continue your relationship can become overwhelming.
6. Here to Learn: Remember, you’re in college to learn, not get your MRS degree. You worked hard to get into college, so keep up with the studying and don’t worry about finding your future husband. You’re young, so just enjoy being single and not having to worry about a relationship. 

When it comes to making the decision to start a relationship, it’s all about what you want out of your college experience and what you can handle. Relationships are like a job—a super awesome, fun job that includes watching vines about cute cats and going on dates, but still, a job. They take up a lot of time and involve having to take care of someone else. You’ve got someone to take care of you too now, but it’s a give and take deal. So, take into consideration all these pros and cons, and we hope to see you walking hand-in-hand with a cutie (perhaps a Campus Cutie?) towards the library (compromise!) sometimes soon!