It’s that time of year again. Every Thanksgiving, our aunts, uncles and grandparents all sit at the holiday table passing around turkey, dressing and annoying questions. We know it’s going to happen every fourth Thursday of November, but for some reason, we’re still never prepared. You can get your answers ready early this year because here’s a list of 10 questions you’re going to be asked by family members at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
1. Do you have a boyfriend?
Ah, yes. For some reason, this is every family member’s favorite question to ask. If the answer is “yes,” then the question will normally be followed by several more. “Why didn’t you invite him over?” “Are you embarrassed by us?” “Can we see him?” “Do you have a picture?” If the answer is “no,” then well, you’ll still be interrogated. “Why not?” “Are there no cute boys in college?” There’s no winning with this one.
2. What are your plans for after graduation?
Oh, we love this one. Our family members will literally ask us this question every single year regardless of that fact that we’ve given them a different answer… every single year. This Thanksgiving, try out something new. Tell them it’s a surprise. They’ll love that.
3. What do you want for Christmas?
Okay. This isn’t always an annoying question. It only becomes an annoying question when you have to repeat yourself 1,000 times to 1,000 different family members or write down your shoe size even though it hasn’t changed since ninth grade. The worst part about this question is that you’re going to answer it very specifically and your grandma still won’t get you what you asked for.
4. How are your grades?
YIKES. Do yourself a favor and leave out that biology exam you bombed earlier in the semester, add a point and a half to your GPA, throw in some good attendance or something and start talking about what you want for Christmas again. That should take care of things.
5. What have you been doing in your spare time?
What your family members want to hear: “On Mondays, I volunteer in the soup kitchen. On Tuesdays, I pick up litter in Monroe Park. On Wednesdays, I cure cancer. On Thursdays, I run for president. On Fridays, I save the world.”
What you’ve really been up to: Netflix… Sleeping… Eating… Netflix… Homework… Netflix…
6. Have you been going to the gym?
…they ask as you remove the half-eaten roll from your mouth. Let’s see, you walk back and forth to class every day and sometimes you even have to jog because math starts in three minutes but Starbucks was calling your name, so that definitely counts for something!
7. What do you usually eat?
You saw this one coming. Well, as a college student, you never really know what your schedule is going to look like. Some days, you might have homework for dinner. Other days, you may go to Pizza Hut two or seven times, so this question may be hard to answer.
8. What made you do that?
This question can mean a lot of things, but it normally refers to appearance. One of your family members probably wants to know why you dyed your hair blue or why you got a flower tattooed on your wrist or why there’s a piece of metal hanging from your nose. Sadly, there is no way that you can answer this question that will make them understand, so good luck.
9. Have you been making new friends?
This is college. You have no other choice. If you didn’t make friends, who would wake you up when you fall asleep during lecture? Who would send you notes? Who would make late night food runs with you? Who would tell you about the Blackboard assignment due at 11:59 p.m. at 11:45?
10. How are you?
This is the annoying question of all annoying questions. You’ll have to answer it an uncountable amount of times and you’ll always say “I’m fine.” The truth is, you’re broke. You’re hungry. You’re thousands of dollars in debt. Yesterday, you had a raisin for breakfast. You have final exams to think about as soon as Thanksgiving break is over. You got three hours of sleep last night and your phone is dying, but guess what? Winter break is right around the corner.