Honestly, I’ve been struggling with my life lately. I haven’t been eating enough, been drinking too much, failing classes and feeling sad. I’m trying to figure this thing called life out, but you know, it gets really difficult and sometimes you slip and fall down the slope. Being honest about it hurts because I have not felt this way in a long time. I’ve been biting off more than I can chew and getting angry with myself for not being successful. But what is a success? Society has this misconstrued vision of an ideal life everyone needs to conform to. Go to school, get a job and have a family. It’s funny to me that we buy into it without question because the path to success is never linear. It’s a winding road and sometimes you get lost and have to turn back to square one.
However, that’s okay because that is how you learn to appreciate the simple things in life. We often get caught up in our own minds and egos, obsessing about the future, how much money we’re going to make, what others will think of us and how successful we will be. I had been thinking that way for a long time. I thought I was worthless if I didn’t reach the expectations I set for myself. However, after I gave up on certain things that were no longer in my control, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I felt this because I could focus on loving life and being thankful now. I realized how free it feels to live a simple and humble life. I thought about how thankful I am to have a job I love, a roof over my head and loving friends around me. I’m thankful I am able to wake up in the morning, start my day with fresh coffee and end it with a glass of wine after a long day of working hard to improve other’s lives. I’m thankful for the earth beneath my feet and the rejuvenating Blueridge Mountain air. I’m thankful for a special man in my life who has taught me how to be thankful and truly love life. I’m thankful for the sunlight warmth he brings to me. I’m thankful for my best friend’s smile and how she sings silly songs to me when I’m feeling bad. I’m thankful for my parents giving me life and taking care of me when I come home. I’m thankful for looking out the window at a 3:00 a.m. full moon in the sky. I’m thankful for how mysteriously pre-determined our lives are. Breathe it in and watch it float away like leaves blowing in the wind.
Next time you’re feeling down about yourself or life in general, make a thank you list and read it out loud.
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