Trigger Warning: Mention of sexual content/sexual misconduct
Reading was always one of my favorite pastimes growing up. Whether the genre be fantasy, mystery, horror, or adventure; 10-year-old me would stay up in bed past curfew with a flashlight in one hand, and a book in the other. My favorite out of all the genres was always romance. I’ve always been a fan of love as a concept, and romance books were my favorite escape from the real world of dating: where the men in books were twice as handsome and charming than the ones at school, who picked their nose publicly and couldn’t tell the difference between their and there.
 As I was growing up though, I always heard one question from boys and men alike about my taste in novels; “When are you going to start reading real books?”. The question never made sense to me at first, as what I read was published, sold, and read by real people, and made real money. It soon became clear to me that what they meant was that romance wasn’t a “real” or valid genre to read or enjoy at all. It’s sad to say that this didn’t just happen to me, but women everywhere, and it didn’t stop with age or time.
#BookTok is a viral hashtag on Tiktok with currently over 52 million posts on the social media app. It’s a tiktok community where readers and writers can post all about literature they recommend or have been reading themselves. Most people look under this hashtag for books and authors of all genres. However, the term has been used more recently to describe a specific genre of books: “spicy” books, otherwise known as “smut”. “Spicy books”  is an umbrella term used to describe romance books that include sexual content, the type of sexual content ranging from PG-13 to Rated R. The problem that some people have with these books, is that it’s content is “too sexual” and should be considered pornographic material. Others feel as though sex in romance novels sullies the reputation of these books and should be removed from the genre altogether if we want it to be respected. While this is a loaded statement and opinion, my biggest question to it is: Why do we care what other people read?
There are countless Tiktok users, majority of them being men, who have argued that “spicy books” have ruined booktok, and in turn, “Booktok has ruined reading”. People feel as though erotic novels aren’t considered to be“real” novels, and that any romance novels with sexual content ruins the activity of reading for other people. While I think it’s ultimately sexist to believe that a women having a consensual sexual experience in a book makes the entire novel not only dirty, but makes her story not a romance; there’s something else I dont quite understand. Why should what other people read dictacte what you like? Films that center around sex don’t ruin all movies, nor does art or music with sexual themes ruin those forms of media. It’s argued that most media is filled with sexual content, whether it be the focus of it or not. So why when a book centered around a romantic relationship has sex scenes, something that is normal in most romantic relationships, it’s considered “unnecessary” or “wrong”? Why does it have to be the most upstanding example of literature when it didn’t ask to be?Â
Let’s argue that these books are pornographic and therefore too inappropriate: who’s it too inappropriate for? Most of these romances deemed “smut” are rated R and not meant to be read for viewers under 18. Is this form of media hurting anybody? The characters in these books are fictional and don’t exist in the real world. Other forms of sexual content in media made in real life have lots of abuse in the workplace that can range from sexual harassment, physical abuse, sex trafficking and worse. With books, there’s no behind-the-scenes mistreatment to people, because there are no real life people to mistreat. This makes sure the audience has an ethical environment when watching, which can’t always be said in other forms of media. Why should people care if people are reading sexual content in the privacy of their own homes when no one is getting hurt in the process of it? I think these male readers are putting their nose into business that isn’t theirs, and deciding to be the judge of what’s good and bad literature.
Regardless of whatever you read, the activity is extremely important for your health, as it can benefit you mentally and physically. It’s not as popular as it is important though, as a 2022 study on Statista said that the average time adults spent on reading in America was only 15 minutes a day. Most people that I know don’t read for fun, and are shocked that it’s an activity that others and I enjoy. All readers are currently doing something that most people can’t do for more than 15 minutes, which is something that should be celebrated in and of itself. I feel as though when I tell fellow readers i read romance, some of them (mostly men) try to discredit me as I was actually doing a “devious” or “shameful” activity, instead of reading. This opinion has validated misogynistic male readers since the controversy of Booktok. I’m made out to be a pervert for enjoying a form of entertainment that has a few sexual scenes on paper, when we have popular media like Game Of Thrones or Chainsaw Man where there are visual sex scenes of incest or grooming. That media is not shamed, but praised for it’s storytelling and writing. It’s almost as if the sexual content doesn’t matter as long as it’s not titled romance and written by a woman.Â
I’m tired of feeling like I have to defend myself to men whose opinion I never asked for, nor do I value said opinion when it’s coming from people whose taste in novels isn’t even my own. I’m not saying that everyone needs to read and enjoy books like Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James, because I would hate for anyone to force me to read books like The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. I just think we should all respect each other’s taste in books, because well, I’m just glad we’re all reading. Just check your misogyny the next time you tell a girl to stop reading a book that you have no idea what it’s about. Because didn’t anybody tell you not to judge a book by its cover?