The Ten Stages of a Relationship in 140 Characters or Less

We all know college dating isn’t the easiest thing in the world. And sure, every relationship is different. We’ve already done a post regarding just how much the internet understands your lifestyle when you’re under stress. Interestingly enough, it definitely understands your love life as well. Particularly Twitter. 

1. YOU JUST MET:

Say you’re at a party or a bar, because let’s be honest. And you’re looking your best, but you don’t forget the number one rule, which is:

So even though the expression on your face is saying “I am a Grade-A Class Act,” you want to confuse men because you’re a girl and that’s what girls do. So your outfit is really saying:  

Meanwhile, he’s over with his friends at the keg, pretty much thinking:

You both make very casual eye contact, and eventually you end up talking to each other over the noise and intoxication. It’s pretty late, and you spot the few girls who are getting a little sloppy. But then he says:

And you’re thinking about how nice of a deviation from the norm that is for a college guy.

You continue to hang out, flirt, talk, dance, and as the night goes on:

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2. CRUSH TIME:

So you hit it off, and now you’re texting, which is a big deal. You want to meet up but also want to sound cool and casual, so…

And he’s very cool and casual with his reply, of course. When your friends want to know why you won’t just go for it, you have to explain that you’re both being coy. You want to seem interested but not too interested, so you answer with:

And your conversations early on are very important, because

He knows this because he’s heard the following Marilyn Wisdom:

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3. FIRST FEW DATES:

Fast forward a few weeks. More parties, some study-buddy sessions, a couple of lunch dates and ten million hilarious quotes (from him) later, you’re finally going out. You’re on top of your game all the time when it comes to appearances, of course:

And whatever article you’ve recently read in Cosmo is giving you positive feelings about this relationship, which is always a plus.

By the way, he’s very aware of how Cosmo works:

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4. YOU’RE INFATUATED

Your relationship could not be better. Nicholas Sparks is actually jealous of you and your reality because everything is turning out to be a completely perfect love story and no one had to get into a horrible accident or contract a fatal, prolonged disease! Good for you!

So you’re relating to things like this:

And:

And just so everyone knows how fortunate you are, you’re tweeting things like this:

And quoting adorable bears like this:

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5. YOU’RE IN LOVE:

You can’t stop thinking about him, can’t stop talking about him, and you want everyone to know how great he is.

In fact, you’ll capslock it for emphasis:

Your faith is restored in humanity. You’re on top of the world.

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6. YOUR FIRST FIGHT:

But then…he can be kind of cocky sometimes…

And some things that he does kind of piss you off…

And sometimes you feel like being with him is like pulling teeth.

One thing piles on top of another and all of a sudden you’re arguing:

So you’re mad and you want him to know, but you don’t want to state outright why.

And while you’re doing that, he’s thinking

So whenever you run into each other, you’re both like:

And you’re feeling inexplicably victorious as you walk around with an “I don’t need him” attitude because he obviously doesn’t know this Marilyn Wisdom:

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7. YOU MAKE UP:

But eventually it’s good again, because you’re like:

And he’s thinking:

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8. THE WAKE UP CALL

Except a few days later, you realize

And you fight. Again.

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9. THE BREAK UP

You guys had a good run, but eventually, it had to end.

And sometimes it’ll end badly…

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10. SINGLE LIFE AGAIN:

And for a little while, you’re sad about it.

And you go into a little bit of a slump, so you try to console yourself with movies a middle-aged woman would watch and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s:

But after a little grieving period, you begin to realize that you are a strong, independent woman:

So you work on your self-image, get dressed up, go out with your friends looking so good that instagram isn’t even considered, and party the weekend away:

And by the way,