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The Adult Way to Deal with the “Mean Girl”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Virginia Tech chapter.

Many of us have had one in our lives. Some of us lucky enough to never have to deal with one. But if you ever thought that you would escape the concept of a mean girl once you entered adulthood, think again. And strangely enough, even grown adults do not know how to deal with the mean-girl-turned-mean-woman in their lives, even though it seems to be a small and insignificant issue compared to all the other responsibilities we have. Here are three ways to maturely handle the mean woman who for some reason has it out for you.

  1. Don’t React

    Do not play into her game. Do not react to her. When she is clearly being rude, acting rude back will only bring you down to her level. When she doesn’t get a reaction, those around you will pick up on her odd actions. If you react and give in to what she is looking for, the attention will be drawn to you instead of her. There’s only so much a person can do when the other side is basically a brick wall, and at some point they just simply look like a fool.

2.  Kill em’ with Kindness

    Especially in the adult world, most of these mean women go the passive aggressive route. This means that she wants to take a jab at you without having her friends or the people around you two noticing. This way she doesn’t look like at fault in the situation. Along with not giving a reaction, make sure to flash a smile in her direction. In her game, the idea is you break first and get angry, but if you are cordial and friendly, she cannot hurt you any further than her passive-aggressiveness. At some point this will become increasingly frustrating for her as she will always feel a social obligation to be nice to you when she is around her peers.

3. If it gets serious, report it.

    Sometimes she will go too far and will start acting in a way towards you that could constitute as bullying. When she reaches this point, report her actions to a higher authority. It may seem childish to go to this extent, but you do not deserve to be treated like this. If the situation is occurring at work, report it to your boss or a HR team. If it’s in a Greek organization or student club, report the behavior to someone involved there.

Overall, if you are in a situation with a person like this, just be aware there are so many options available to combat the issue before fighting with fire. Do not fall prey to the quote, “You become what you hate”. Show her that you are above her childish and petty actions and that you a 100 times the person that she will ever be, simply by taking the high road.

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So you want to know more about me? Awesome. I'm a sophomore majoring in Business and Information Technology but I promise my interests are not all related to my major. Some of these interests include fashion, art , history, politics,and current events. I'm not really sure what I have planned for my future, but I hope I end up living in one of those trendy apartments in NYC. But for now, I'm just taking life day by day.
Kaley Roshitsh

Virginia Tech '18

After graduating with a B.S. in Fashion Merchandising and Design from Virginia Tech in 2018, Kaley moved to NYC to start her career with WWD – the authority on the fashion, beauty and retail industries. She is credited with the relaunch of Her Campus at Virginia Tech in 2016, serving as Campus Correspondent for 2 years, building the team to 55+ members while earning multiple Pink chapter level statuses (top-20% of over 330 chapters) and being awarded "Outstanding Organization of the Year" in 2018 at Virginia Tech. Other notable achievements include the annual "Media Mixer" gala and buildout of many strategic content initiatives.