Maybe being dubbed “The Serial Dater” by my friends is a little harsh, but I swear it’s not as bad as it sounds. The nickname was tossed around my sophomore year of college and it has since stuck. No, I’m not another Carrie Bradshaw of the world, but I have gone on my fair share of dates, some bad and some good. I’ve realized that timing is everything, and if it isn’t right the relationship, it isn’t going to progress. I’ve learned the term “post-breakup” (the hard way) and realized that getting involved with anyone after a breakup probably won’t go anywhere. After coming to terms with my title of “The Serial Dater” (and laughing at my friends along the way,) I’ve compiled a list of reasons why some rendezvous just don’t work out.
Post-Breakup:
Dealing with a breakup (whether you were the dumpee or dumper) isn’t the easiest thing to go through. Let’s be honest, it’s very difficult. You’re vulnerable and emotional and the last thing you need is another relationship. You might think the best way to get over someone is to date other people; well I’m here to tell you that’s probably not the best idea. Coming from someone who thought that advice would work, it’s not the way to go. You need time to heal, to work on yourself and to remember who you are as a person. Take some time for yourself and don’t jump into another relationship until you’re ready. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Fear of Commitment:
“It’s not you it’s me.” The inevitable line that I hope you haven’t heard from a significant other. At one point in my life I went through a selfish phase, and by selfish I mean the fear of all things associated with commitment. I didn’t want to be caught up in a relationship that would “consume” my life. I just wanted to have fun; have a few drinks with my girlfriends, flirt with boys and not feel obligated to report back to a boy. I mean duh, this is college and I just wanted to “live it up.” Although I was having the time of my life, I let go of a few great guys. My word of advice: Don’t let the fear of commitment turn you away from dating. A relationship title is simply a word. Don’t let the fear of a tiny word change how you feel about someone.
Timing is Everything:
Timing is everything. If I said it once I’ll say it three more times. For any relationship to move to the next level, you both must be on the same page. Maybe one person just got out of a relationship (see “Post-Breakup”) and isn’t ready to date or maybe your long distance relationship wasn’t working out. Whatever the reason may be, it all boils down to timing. As a sophomore, I rushed a sorority and was thrilled to find my niche within the Hokie Nation. I wanted nothing more than to make new friends, get involved and finally feel like I belonged at this huge university. When I met someone I really cared about I wasn’t in a position to devote all my time to that person. My agenda was packed with meetings, socials, philanthropies and other events that go hand-in-hand with Greek life. I finally was happy where I was and making time for a boy wasn’t going to happen at this point in my life. Although the relationship didn’t go anywhere I realized it wasn’t the right timing. Like I said, timing really is everything.
Take it as you will, ladies. The best advice I can give you is to take chances and not be afraid to take those chances. If a relationship doesn’t work out then shrug it off and keep trying. And if you ever happen to pick up the title of “The Serial Dater” laugh it up because you’re not the only one.
Images:
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