Self-esteem is a concept we all knew about growing up, but how many of us can actually say we had a strong sense of what it meant to us? I, personally, have struggled with self-esteem and I’ve never felt completely comfortable with who I am as a person.
Throughout high school, having a low self-esteem impacted a lot of my decisions. Since I didn’t feel good about myself, it impacted the way other people saw me. It was hard for me to gain respect because I didn’t present myself in a way that commanded it. I constantly had the mindset that I wasn’t good enough, and it showed through every task I completed and person I encountered. Getting ready to enter college gave me the chance to change that about myself. I wanted a fresh start. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to change my self-esteem overnight, but I knew I could commit to the process, and that was a good enough start for me.
The first step I took in order to help build my self-esteem was taking a break from all social media. I found that I would spend countless hours scrolling and comparing myself to all of the other girls I follow. I measured my self worth on the amount of likes I got on a picture or tweet, to the point of it being excessive. I needed to take a break in order to find myself and learn that my worth couldn’t be measured in likes. In order to feel good about myself I had to completely focus on just myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I was so use to always scrolling through social media, that I felt out of place not constantly being on it. However, I knew that eliminating all outside distractions was the best way to start my growth.
Another step I took to building self-esteem was writing. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and as I looked back through all my journals, I noticed a common theme. Every time I wrote, I was dwelling on the negative parts of my day. On a day where I may not be feeling the best, there was nothing uplifting in my old journals that I could go back to. So I decided to change up my writing habits. I bought a completely new journal and I set aside time every night to write. I wrote nightly reflections about my day, making sure to include positive aspects as well as things that could have gone better. Writing empowered me. It made me feel as though I was finally being heard, even if the only thing listening was a piece of paper. As time went on, writing became my passion, and I took that passionate spirit with me everywhere I went. This new-found spirit gave me the motivation to get up every morning and strive to make my day positive, so I could write about it. Writing also helped me to mentally balance my strengths and weaknesses.
As I made these changes in my life, I started to notice that my changes from within reflected changes on the outside. My new positive outlook on my self image attracted different people to me. Entering my first year in college, I noticed a huge change in the types of friends I was attracting. My friends in college are extremely uplifting and positive. Whenever I voice a weakness I may have, they quickly remind me of all of my strong qualities and to not let my weaknesses dictate what I want to do. Whatever the task may be, they motivate me to push myself to go after it. Not only did the people around me change, but my actions did too. I took the initiative to go after leadership roles that I never would’ve in high school. I felt more comfortable being uncomfortable because I started to figure out who I was as a person.
I’m not saying my self-esteem is absolutely perfect, because it’s not. There are still days where I struggle. Self-esteem is ever-changing and because of it, we are constantly working to better it. The way I went about improving my self-esteem may not work for you, and that’s okay! Take a deep look into different components of your life and start finding the parts that need more work. To every girl who has ever struggled with self-esteem, you are not alone! We all go through it! If you’re someone who has been struggling with low self-esteem for a long time and you’re ready to break that cycle, start now! Building self-esteem is a process that starts with you.