Have you ever wondered the ease it takes for some to captivate the ones they’re inspired by, influence the room they’re in and naturally exhibit their energy in a way that is loved by basically all? This is charisma: the ability to connect and communicate with others on a deeper level. If you’re reading this, you may be wondering: What can you do to up your level of social charisma and be a major effective and empathetic conversationalist? I’m here to share all of my advice. Let’s dive in.
The first level of social charisma is to sell yourself! Lacking the ability to sell yourself to others decreases skill value. In order to communicate your value, you do not have to search for what makes you unique, but rather own what you feel does that already. Showing a level of authenticity instantly upgrades your personable aura. This makes people, in turn, feel like they can be themselves, which opens the floor for honest conversation. Honest conversation is a goal of charisma.Â
To be authentic, you must reach a level of confidence in knowing that what you have to offer is valuable, and if someone doesn’t appreciate or recognize that value, then they are not meant for you. You can’t let others’ opinions sway your perception of yourself, and if you’re stuck in a position right now where that is a struggle for you, remember that being shamelessly yourself is an attractive quality in itself. Most people will remember how you make them feel rather than what style your hair was, if you had a little stomach pooch sticking out, or if you had a piece of food stuck in your teeth. To exude confidence, walk into a room with your head held high, your shoulders back, making eye contact, and smiling more!!! Posture and facial expressions are one way to exhibit confidence, as well as setting boundaries, being able to own up to your mistakes, and own your hair, your clothes, your walk, and your talk. Think of yourself as a pageant queen or your favorite pop star and own that dynamic.Â
One pro tip is to speak in an intellectual way and slow your words down. Better yet, educating yourself on a wide variety of topics on current events and global culture helps expand the range of people and topics you can have discussions with and about. And stay curious! Be open to hearing new perspectives and ideas, and approach it in a respectful manner—don’t be afraid to share your knowledge, too. Ways to expand your knowledge include watching more pop culture, reading books, or listening to podcasts about a variety of topics. Sometimes it’s not always about what you say but how you say it; in addition, sometimes it’s not about how much you speak, but if what you say has meaning. This is why charisma is for introverts, too! This demonstrates a trait of leadership.Â
Oh, but there’s a catch! You have to go out!! This leads me to the next concept: tackling the fear of going into social environments. But wait, there’s another catch. You’ve already overcome the fear of embarrassment and judgment, because you’ve already learned confidence, so really there is nothing to be afraid of! If you want to appear more approachable, ensure that you are dressed appropriately for the occasion. People do see external appearances first, so make sure if it’s a casual setting you dress for that occasion, or if it’s more formal then dress up. Pick clothing that fits your body type and personality, just delegate it to the occasion. Use social media and Google to your advantage. There are so many resources on how to find what suits you the best, and that’s what makes you unique!Â
Once you’re in a social setting, make eye contact with the people you want to speak with, and don’t be afraid to initiate the conversation. Introduce yourself with a game plan and state your first and last name. If you like someone’s dress, give them a compliment. It shows security in yourself and it’s a form of kindness. People love to talk about themselves, so ask them questions and then ask follow-up questions. As you ask questions, demonstrate positive, open body language like nodding or hand movements, and be vulnerable in the right situations. Adapting to various personalities by adjusting your energy level helps you attract and make connections with a wide range of people. You also want to exude energy in your vocal tone, whether you’re asking questions or telling a story yourself. When telling a story as an animated character, people are drawn in. Most importantly, if not the most important part, remember what people say and validate others’ feelings, congratulate others, and be happy for their successes. Envy is an ugly trait, and just because someone else is successful doesn’t undermine the beauty of your success either. They might surprise you and you might learn something from them that you can use to better yourself!Â
So there you have it! You’re ready to go out and be what seems to be a natural born social butterfly: introverted or extroverted! I hope these tips help! Go flourish in building deep relationships. Remember, your charisma may look different from the next person in line, but it’s all about how you use it to your advantage that counts the most!Â