I’m sure we’ve all heard of the five love languages — words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch — but in case you haven’t, they’re pretty self-explanatory. We all show and feel love in different ways, but they can all be related back to these five categories that can help you understand what you need and give in a relationship. When I took the test online to determine my love languages, I pretty much already knew what my results were going to be. I’ve always been big on physical touch and telling people how I feel about them, so it was no surprise to me that physical touch was my top love language followed by words of affirmation. Physical touch is more than the sexual; whether it’s holding hands, a quick hug or peck on the cheek, it makes me feel appreciated and loved. However, that’s easier said than done when you’re in a long distance relationship and can’t exactly give physical touch on a daily basis.
Words of affirmation aren’t as hard when you’re in an LDR because there are many ways to show and receive that love, whether it’s through text, FaceTime, phone call or social media. The only problem with that is finding the time to do it; sometimes we get so caught up in our day that we forget to take a moment to tell the other how we feel, and that’s when it gets tricky. When you don’t see someone every day, you sometimes forget things, and that’s OK in the short run. But in the long run, when a few days without telling your significant other how much you love and appreciate them becomes a week or even more, that’s not OK, at least for me personally. I’m not saying I need paragraph upon paragraph detailing how much he loves me — quite the opposite actually. A simple good morning or goodnight text and an “I miss you” here and there is all I really need, and I’m thankful to have someone who naturally does that without reminder. Sometimes when I’m really feeling the love and just want to tell him how I feel, I let it all out. Even though I’m not sure what his love languages are — note to self: make him take the test too — it makes me feel good to say how I’m feeling instead of keeping it to myself. If there’s one thing I want him to be sure of, it’s how I feel about him.
Being in an LDR has helped me learn how to appreciate what I have in the moment and how to grow not only as an individual but also as a couple. Learning how to maneuver different situations and how to adapt to changing circumstances really shows you a lot about yourself and the person you’re with, and a lot of times it shows you how compatible you are. Most importantly, learning your partner’s love languages and learning how to make them feel loved is vital in maintaining a relationship. LDRs are hard, no doubt about it, but it’s easier when you know how to love someone and how to feel loved.