Sometimes I Miss Who I Was Last Year: A Reflection

So I recently read my article from last year and I have a lot of things to say. 

(Shameless plug, go read it here!) 

Last year, I was going through it. I won’t sugarcoat it. I didn’t go outside, I wasn’t social and when I did go outside, I went to the gym to cry about my feelings and be mad at the whole world for doing me dirty. 

(First thought while reading: “Wow. I’m so dramatic.”)  

But then I was in my bag; I woke up at 6 AM for a month, using the time in my morning to journal and meditate, eating vegetables and getting a heightened dose of protein, etc. I took care of myself; I ate all three meals and gave myself time to heal. Like I said, I was in my bag! 

Honestly, after I finished reading my article, I got a little jealous. I found myself thinking, “Why did I stop? Why did I stop journaling and meditation in the morning? Am I too busy for myself? Am I still in the same headspace as I was before?” and so on and so forth. Do I not like myself as much as I did last year? 

I don’t think that’s true. I just grew as a person. This year I connected with more of my friends on a deeper level, I have a partner that I adore and wonder every morning, “How did I get someone to like you?” and I’m still consistent in my gym routine. But there’s still that part of me that yearns for meditation, that yearns for the journaling and mindful part of myself. I think I’ve finally realized that it’s been calling me again. I think I neglected this spiritual side of me that was used to the journaling and self-reflection that I had. 

I want to nurture that part of myself again, so I’m starting to journal and meditate now. I might not be able to wake up at 6 AM anymore, but I know that this is something I can do. I’ll let you know how it goes!

• life lessons
• mental health
• reflection