With the premiere of The Hunger Games slightly over a week ago, Twilight is being brought up once more. It’s easy to group the Twilight franchise and The Hunger Games trilogy into the same lump of teen appeal, romance and endless money-making opportunities. Both have unparalleled fan devotion and both started with popular young-adult best-sellers revolving around a drama-filled love triangle and the threat of early death thanks to some magical circumstances. The movie adaptations of these books are filled with hot up-and-comers and are promoted with dolls and mall tours. Just a heads up, this is a very overdue rant, but with the release of the film adaptation of The Hunger Games, I was reminded once again why I hate Twilight.
Fans can come at me with their silver bullets and wooden stakes, but I hate everything that is Twilight. I’ve read all of the Twilight books. Well, correction. I read the first five pages and the last ten pages of each book in the series. I wanted to understand what all the hype was about, but the only thing that I could think of was that vampires don’t sparkle in the sun; they incinerate into ashes. And am I the only one that finds the underlying necrophilia, bestiality and pedophilia throughout the series very disturbing?
The protagonist Bella is basically stuck in a physically, mentally and emotionally abusive relationship with a dead guy. She’s a cross between a doormat and a wet dishrag. When Edward leaves her for what seems to be a few months, Bella basically curls up into a ball in the middle of the woods and cries. I mean, seriously. I could understand if she maybe did it for a day or two or even a week (hell, I cried for a week straight after my last break-up) but she jumped off a damn cliff to hear his voice. When was it acceptable to start encouraging self-harm just because a guy left you? Not only that, Bella is just whiny and annoying in general. She mopes and complains her way through high
school and then instead of trying to get into college, she’s too preoccupied between a vampire and a werewolf. Edward, who seems to be the ‘dreamy’ vampire, is just creepy. If I woke up to some guy staring at me while I sleep, the first thing I’d be reaching for is a baseball bat. The second would be my cell phone. Just saying.
The author, Stephanie Meyer, is basically a fat woman who decided to sit down and write some really bad fan fiction. Her vocabulary is as extensive as a middle school girl. Someone needs to send the woman a note that there are more adjectives than just ‘beautiful.’ Meyer created this world where all a girl needs is this really hot guy. The girl’s world should revolve around this hot guy and it doesn’t matter how big of an ass he is because he’s hot. Your goals? Doesn’t matter; hot guy. Your friends? Doesn’t matter; hot guy. Feel free to throw your education, career, family and friends out the window.
What I learned from Twilight and Meyer is that being strong, independent, and maybe even the symbol of an entire revolution really doesn’t matter if you don’t have a hot guy to love and emotionally abuse you. Thanks, Stephanie!
Photo Credit:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/1d/Twilightbook.jpg/250px-Twilightbook.jpg
http://wallpapers.free-review.net/36__New_Moon_-_Bella_Swan_Charlie_Swan.htm