First base, second base, third base… The phrase, “hooking up” has various connotations with a range from kissing all the way up to sex with no emotional attachment, depending upon whom you are asking. According to dominant discourse, the hook up culture is a phenomenon sweeping the nation’s college campuses and changing the face of dating for America’s millennial generation.
The topic has been covered in everything from blogs to scholarly journals, and perhaps what is most confounding about the term is the slipperiness of its meaning. What is hooking up for one person may be discounted for another.
*Photo from learnu.org.
The Definition of “Hooking Up”
Four interviews with current college students point to multiple definitions of “hooking up.”
Maeghan Livingston, a single, Wake Forest senior does not have a fixed definition, “I think in a broader sense that means having sex. She says, “Before coming to Wake, I thought it was not as far like kissing or foreplay. I have been socialized in thinking differently now.”
However, Olivia Whitener, a single, Wake Forest Anthropology major disagrees.
“I wouldn’t say hooking up is sex.” She says, “I think you would say something else. I think hooking up can be anything other than that. Mainly lots of making out. Maybe, partially no clothes. But if it was at a party, I would think it would be like a dance floor make out. If someone said, ‘I hooked up with that person,’ I would not automatically think that they had sex.”
Casey Snyder, a Wake Forest Psychology major adds, “My definition of hooking up would be a physical, sexual relationship with someone who is not your partner usually while intoxicated.”
From a male perspective, Josh Harris, a Wake Forest football player simply calls it what it is, “I wouldn’t use the term ‘hook up’ at all. I would simply say what I did with that person.”
Traditional Girls in a Modern World
Although these female, college students have different definitions of the term “hooking up,” they all share traditional values including an appreciation for courtship, meaningful relationships and eventually marriage.
Maeghan is wary about the informality of hook up culture, “My opinion is spiritually based in that I believe that intimacy at any level should be reserved for marriage.”
“Even outside of the spiritual sense, secularly, I think that whenever two individuals are physically involved with one another although there are ‘no strings attached,’ I do not believe that is actually true. I do believe that when you are physically involved with anyone where emotional bonds can be formed that can make relationships or not having relationships very difficult.”
As the dominant culture continues to exist and develop, how will girls who uphold traditional values and hope to obtain meaningful relationships be affected?
*Photo from amazon.com.
So, What Changed?
There are various factors that ushered in the new sexual culture.
Kathleen Bogle, the author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus, explains that the increased availability of the birth control pill coupled with a liberalization of attitudes toward sexuality led to changes in what was socially acceptable to do sexually.
Sexual intercourse did not just become a means of reproduction within the confines of marriage, but a sign of intimacy and physical pleasure.
The liberalization of attitudes toward sexuality coupled with the women’s movement, affected the roles available to men and women especially within the areas of relationships and family. Currently, there has been an increase in the median age at first marriage in the U.S, 25 for women and 27 for men.
Due to the increase of the median age at first marriage, men and women have more time to explore and date before settling down with a lifelong mate so casual relationships are more permissible during one’s college years.
Another factor, is the dramatic increase in women attending college. By 1972, three times as many women were attending college than there had been in 1960. The trend continued to increase. Currently, women far outnumber men on many college campuses in the U.S. Approximately, 80 men for every 100 women enrolled in college.
*Photo from mademansociety.com.
If I Don’t Do It, Someone Else Will
Dr. Denisha Champion, a counselor in Wake Forest’s Counseling Center suggests that men and women think differently about hooking up.
“Generally women think hooking up is the platform towards a relationship and men are like, ‘Oh, that was fun,” she says. So, that leads to disillusioned women and some guilty men or not so much.”
These conflicting approaches to hooking up, in addition to the shortage of available men creates a fierce competition between women for male attention.
“I have had so many women tell me that, “People don’t date here, they only hook up,” says Dr. Champion. Women tell me that, ‘If I am not a player in the game, I am not viable to get a relationship. Because if I don’t do it, then there are twenty other women who will.’ So, that makes me sad for them. Women feel like if they have a chance for a hookup, then they have to do it.”
Perhaps the casual hook-up is a little deeper than what first comes to mind.