‘Tis the season of stress-inducing internship searches, Linkedin job updates, and existential doubts about the future! You got it, it’s #employment #search #szn. As I have progressed through my college career, this point in the spring semester has left me progressively more anxiety-ridden. This may just be a ~me thing~ but whenever I see an internship announcement post, I am immediately filled with doubts about my future plans. After subconsciously comparing the announced internship to what I intend to do over the summer, I usually second-guess myself and question whether or not I am adequate. Although I have tried to resist the urge to conduct this instinctual self-appraisal, it is really hard not to when you attend a school like Wake Forest. At Wake, we are surrounded by so many goal-oriented, driven, and intelligent overachievers that, if you’re a competitive person like I am, you naturally try to up the ante by joining every club on campus, running for leadership positions left and right, vying for the best grade in class, and trying to secure the most impressive internship. Even when we have negative free time in our schedules, we overachievers can’t resist the opportunity to add more activities to our ever-growing plates. With this said, in this article, I want to share my thoughts on the phenomena of comparison, overachieving, and inadequacy in the context of collegiate employment searches.
To start this discussion, I want to share my personal struggles with inadequacy, upon which I will elaborate later in this article. I am currently a junior (almost a senior, eek!) at Wake majoring in Politics and Spanish and minoring in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. During the summer of my freshman year, I studied abroad in Salamanca, Spain for 6 weeks. In Spain, I took a class for my major and did an internship with a sociological research institution called SOCYL. Last summer, I did a remote internship with Latina Republic, an NGO that allows interns to research and write articles about human rights violations in Latin America. Right now, I am studying for the LSAT, in the hopes of taking the test in June or August of this year. At the beginning of this semester (Spring 2020), I resolved to prioritize my LSAT studies over procuring a high-level internship because the LSAT is such a crucial component of one’s law school application. However, as the semester progressed into March, I began seeing everyone’s job and internship announcements on Linkedin. I have to admit that I almost instantly second-guessed what I thought was a rock-solid, responsible plan for myself. I proceeded to scour Handshake for political internship opportunities, despite knowing that any full-time commitment would significantly detract from my LSAT studies. Over the course of March, I applied to a number of opportunities, but after each submission, I would suffer from anxious thoughts and uncertainty. Why was I so desperately searching for a high-level internship if I knew that it would impede on the achievement of my LSAT goals?
I have recently concluded that the answer is that the comparison of myself to others forced me into a competition in which no one knew or cared that I was participating. Although rooted in biblical teachings, I believe that the saying “comparison is the thief of joy” can apply to several scenarios, including this one. When we start to compare ourselves to others in any capacity, whether it be our appearances or our future plans, it can be extremely difficult not to doubt ourselves. However, it is so important to note that there is not one linear path to success. Instead, success can be achieved through a variety of avenues that depend on each individual. Even more importantly, success does not have a singular definition. I think the reason that I fell into a hole of self-doubt was that I let external forces persuade me that success is defined by securing a high-level, competitive job or internship. This definition conveniently excludes intangible success or successes that serve as a stepping stone to later and greater success. Although I cannot brag about studying for the LSAT and post it on my Linkedin, that score is what will lead me to the success of law school admission, and that success will, in time, lead me to the success of employment at a law firm.
With this said, I want to leave you with a few things. First, although it is hard, do not compare your process to that of others. Everyone has their own route to success, and, consequently, one cannot hold one’s self to some else’s standards. Stick with your gut, have confidence in your plan, and don’t let the world shake you. Second, instead of letting others’ success fill you with doubt, learn to celebrate the success of others. Don’t get me wrong– I am definitely still working on this one. Because we live in a society with such a high volume of easily accessible information, it can be hard not to play the comparison game. However, someone else’s achievements say absolutely nothing about you. So, when you see a slew of exciting job updates from your classmates, congratulate them and be thankful that you can surround yourself with high-achieving individuals. Being in such an environment can in turn make you better or endow you with the motivation to continue on your own path. After all, if you’re the smartest person in a room, you’re in the wrong room.