The French Can Teach Us Something About Manners

I must say, I did not think my time abroad would slip away quite as quickly as warned. Yesterday, it seems, I worried about the smallest interactions. The horror of asking for decaf coffee.

Today, the worry in question is the thought that my time in France may end before I realize it has begun. There’s not a lot of sense in what I am writing, but, in short, know that the clock is ticking on my semester abroad. 

And for that reason, I feel that it is necessary to reflect on another great French lesson I have learned: la politesse.

The greatest advice I received from my French adviser before crossing the pond was regarding just that. My professor said to remember la politesse avant tout. We have manners in the United States, that and chivalry, but like many things it has in common with France, the latter takes the idea of manners and respect to a higher standard.

See, in France, there is an entire additional subject in grammar dedicated to treating another with respect. Vous, essentially means you, but is a mark of formality. Its use in linguistics is known as vouvoiement. I would use the vous form in conversation with a stranger or someone worthy of my best manners, for example, the president, my professors, a priest, etc.

Beyond the practice of vouvoiement, the French display la politesse in smaller ways. It is in the necessity of saying bonjour before browsing in a shop (and thank you, have a nice evening, before exiting). Also evident is the fact that taking a seat in the restaurant implies that it is yours for the evening. Leave at your leisure and know that the establishment is at your service.

I don’t know why the manners are held to such a high standard here. Maybe is it simply tradition. Maybe with the slower lifestyle they have more time to be allocated towards good manners. Regardless of the reasoning, la politesse is another francophone habit and mindset I hope I can embrace back in the US. It takes so little of me and gives so much to others. Is not so much of our worth found in our treatment of others? C’est évident, I’d say.

Photos courtesy of:

Isabelle Vail

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http://www.hercampus.com/sites/default/files/2015/04/21/girls_0.jpg 

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