I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but for those of you who haven’t already noticed, the dating scene here at Wake Forest is more or less nonexistent. Don’t confuse the dating scene with the relationship scene – relationships exist en masse at the Forest.
But if you’re a single lady looking for a Sex and the City dating scene, with forward men asking you out every weekend, taking you to top-notch restaurants and heck, picking up the check, then Wake might not live up to your expectations. Sure, you may not be dining at a bada** New York restaurant with a dashing man in a suit, but there are some perfectly acceptable collegiette™ alternatives here in Winston.
Okay, let’s get to the heart of the matter: Why is the Wake dating scene so tragic? And why do Wake boys put so little effort into casual dating? Whatever happened to Friday night being known as the date night? Just so you know, I’m not trying to hate on our guys—without them, Wake would be pretty darn boring (no thank you all-girls school). Here’s my take on why Wake boys are such difficult sells.
For starters, a single freshman guy’s first year of college is his playground for debauchery and bad decision-making. Never before has the freshman dude seen so many gorgeous women romping around in one place, and tons of these girls are actually giving him the time of day! Unfortunately, freshmen boys tend to care more about quantity than quality. They would rather hook up with ten decent-looking women than one stunning one.
After that first awesome hookup, the freshman guy gets a huge surge of confidence and thinks he can get any girl he wants because he got lucky with a really pretty one. This sense of false confidence often makes them want to “later” the worthwhile chica and go out searching for more under-qualified girlies. These hookups are easily perpetuated in dark frat basements where everyone is a little too intoxicated.
Don’t get upset that this freshman boy does not want to date you (or even take you on a date). He will eventually realize that his drunken makeouts with random girls mean nothing and that he has yet to find a girl that measures up to just how wonderful you are.
For the most part, frat boys aren’t much better. Freshman pledges are too busy and too tired to even think about texting a girl they like. Older frat brothers are either still living out their freshmen year bad-decision-making, have commitment issues or have a legitimate drinking problem. It’s pretty hard to get with a pretty girl if you pass out before the party even starts.
The world outside frats isn’t too promising either. Athletes are way too busy and bask too much in the glory of being able to get (almost) any girl they want. Nerdy dudes probably have way too much homework and still consider themselves too socially awkward to talk to a lovely lady. So what gives?
There are two important terms that most accurately define the “dating scene” at Wake Forest. A hookup, as I have previously mentioned, is the most prominent and vague term used to describe the physical relationship between two people. A hookup may be anything from a DFMO (“dance floor makeout) to going all the way. The two individuals under question may be embarrassed about the hookup and never want it to happen again. They may not even remember it, or they might want it to become a usual occurrence. Hooking up is ambiguous by its very nature.
This last option leads to the next term that I like to call “exclusivity.” When two people are exclusive, they are not in a relationship, but they are only hooking up with each other, and other people are allowed to know about it. Exclusivity is a great thing if you like monogamous hookups but are too non-committal for a relationship.
But know that being exclusive also comes with its own set of drawbacks. Exclusivity is something that is not frequently discussed, but rather inferred, so there is a chance that someone could infer wrongly. One girl may think that she and said boy are only hooking up with each other, only to find out that he hooked up with some other girl just last weekend (or last night)! So be careful girls: don’t screw him over if you really like him, but more importantly, don’t let him screw you over!
I realize that my perspective on the Wake dating scene is rather depressing, but don’t give up hope completely if you are looking for Mr. Right (or even Mr. Right-Now). Sometimes boys will come out of the woodwork and surprise you. Sometimes you’ll meet a freshman that actually does want a girlfriend or a guy in your class who likes you enough to ask you out to dinner. A surprisingly large number of the present-day couples I know met when they first drunkenly hooked up in a dirty frat basement. Sometimes, receiving a next-day text invite from last night’s guy to Pit-sit will make you smile, mainly because he’s the first one who’s ever made the effort.
Don’t give up hope! College is the time to meet new people, but don’t expect to find exactly who you are looking for immediately. Enjoy your singlehood, because who knows how long it will last? Just go out with your friends, have a great time, and don’t let yourself get too attached to a guy unless he’s really worth it.