‘Boys will be boys!’
Isn’t it a shame this dated phrase has been commodified, printed on t-shirts and mugs, it’s frequently used as a childish way to dismiss poor behaviour. The real question is, is this a subconscious dismissal, where we as a society encourage behaviour like this to continue? That we may be perpetuating dated ideals of masculinity as a normal and even idealised part of being a male in the 21st Century.
For a society that has supposedly advanced, what has been popularly called ‘Lad Culture’ still exists to a large extent. It is arguably heightened once teenage males reach university due the increased accessibility of socials which revolve around alcohol. Media attention from the past five years or so made us all familiar with the stories, which undeniably tend to centre on ‘Rugby Lads’. Fairly or unfairly, it is not difficult to find stories about male members of rugby teams being asked to both consume dangerous volumes of alcohol and strip down and run around naked in the freezing temperatures of a winter’s night as a form of initiation. For many of you this may reflect incidences you either participated, witnessed or at least heard about during your fresher’s week and for some who are yet to enrol in university this may sound like someone’s worst nightmare.
What came to be defined as ‘Lad Culture’? When reduced to its simplest form, what does it mean? I would argue that it is a manifestation of attempting to prove, according to very traditional and outdated standards, one’s place as a man in the 21st century. These standards include things like strength, which may be why initiation often include extreme physical demands, such as running around naked in freezing temperatures. Also appearance, there has been a noticeable increase in men becoming near obsessed with going to gym with the aims of getting as muscly as possible. In ‘Dying for a Six Pack’, which aired in 2015 as part of BBC Three’s Extreme UK series, Reggie Yates explored how social media is driving young men to put themselves both mentally and physically in danger as they strive to get the perfect body.
The common denominator here is insecurity, something all genders feel, and the need to follow a cult to belong and be part of something. It provides a certain sense of self-worth based on the approval of others. Although, I believe that insecurities and the need to prove one’s masculinity is a part of the problem, I do also believe that the standards for men provided by society is overwhelming. We often forget that men can be subject to a barrage of unrealistic expectations exhibited by celebrity culture and social media. Like women, images of men in magazines are also photoshopped and airbrushed. And it’s not just looks which men must strive to embody but also the idea of being strong, rich and intellectual all at the same time is difficult for men to process, unfortunately there is still a certain expectations that men must always be the main provider in a household. This is unrealistic and there is a desperate need to change these standards.
Rather than clinging on to these standards why don’t we encourage men to create their own definition of what masculinity is? It’s time to make other qualities a priority, encouraging the breaking down of gender stereotypes and allowing the idea that men can be sensitive and that should be a positive thing rather than letting it be repressed due to it being deemed as undesirable. In an age where science and technology have advanced why not let society’s way of thinking do the same?