How to pull an All-Nighter

1) Be aware that you’ll probably look and smell gross by the end

Settle in for the long and gruelling ride that is the all-nighter, where you’ll be locking yourself in your room or at least your head (if you decide to inflict your presence on unsuspecting library-goers), only surfacing to plunge yourself further into despair.  

2) Stock up on caffeine

Even if you don’t drink coffee – don’t try to kid yourself that you’ll be able to get through the next however-many hours of hell without a boost to your system – energy drinks work just as well. Time your imbibing a few hours apart to keep you going, and be ready for the plaque riddled state your mouth will be in when it’s over. Toothpaste is a blessing.

3) Set hourly goals

This depends on the word count of your essay/assignment, but for most writing 500 words an hour is should be easy, 800 words is achievable, and 1000 words is doable so long as you don’t mind the result being complete gibberish. Although saying that, you’re doing an all-nighter, so you can’t be precious about what your brain inevitably spews out.

4) Change the position you’re sitting in

Studies* show that movement of the limbs helps increase brain activity, so whether its alternating stretching out an arm of a leg every so often, or going from sitting with your legs up to sitting cross legged, or even crouching on your chair, it doesn’t matter so long as you move every so often to remind your body that as much as it wants to, it is NOT TIME TO SLEEP YET.

5) Don’t be afraid of an online thesaurus

Using ‘depicts’ four times in a row will make re-reading what you’ve written feel like groundhog day, and given the caffeine saturated sore-bodied state you’ll be in, you don’t want to add déjà vu on top of it. Mix it up, stay awake.

6) Don’t do it again

Staying awake for 48 hours does things to your brain chemistry that has similar effects to being drunk. One time after my second all-nighter of the term I told a friend that I now understood what it felt like to be immortal because I had witnessed dawn breaking. If that pseudo-vampire-crap anecdote doesn’t put you off doing more than one all-nighter, then I don’t know what will.   

*by studies I mean common sense: movement = increased blood-flow = more oxygen to your brain. Science. 

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