How to Survive Term One

TSW: brief mention of blood, knives and alcohol.

We’re a few weeks in and I know that you’re starting to feel the strain. Assignments are stacking up, you need to do a shop and you’re hoping that nobody will notice the bean spill on your top that you’ve tried to scrub away with your nail. I mean, nobody’s looking that closely… right? But that’s okay. We’ve all been there, myself included. And so, that leads us to the article. I’m here to tell you what products saved my life in term one of my first year. So, listen up, open your notes and get ready to trek to Cannon Park.

 
Product 1- Plasters

The knives at home really aren’t that sharp- they sure can’t compare to a set of new ones! On my first attempt at cooking (which, coincidentally, was my first time meeting my flatmate), I went to cut an onion and instead nicked my finger. Big oof. I remember being more annoyed about having to throw the onion away than the actual cut itself. It didn’t hurt much, but it sure bled… onto my veg, the chopping board AND the counter. 

Whereas I froze and did absolutely nothing, my flatmate grabbed some kitchen roll and twisted it on my finger, instructing me to “put pressure on it!”. I did as she asked in my zombie-like state, not really comprehending what had just happened. Unfortunately, I had no plasters (or general first-aid kit), so once again relied on her. I was left standing in the kitchen, embarrassed and mildly afraid, whilst she retrieved a plaster and cleaned me up.

 Long story short- buy plasters, kids. You’ll never know when you’ll need them.

Product 2- The Pink Stuff

Weird name, I know, but the stuff works magic. I’d recommend the putty version in the tub, but the spray is also good. Learning to cook is hard, especially when you’re doing it on your own, with barely functioning ovens and a funky smell coming from the kitchen bin.  Screw-ups are a guarantee. You’ve just got to hope that it isn’t so colossal a screw-up that the fire alarm goes off, which, to be honest, happens often, so I think you’d be forgiven. Worst comes to worst, if your pan is black and brown, get some of The Pink Stuff, whack it straight on, and give it a good scrub. Rinse it off and hope that, with it, your problems also wash away. 

The Pink Stuff also works for weird markings on walls (they were already here, I swear), cleaning the bathroom and wiping surfaces. I’ve even found it to vaguely remove a carpet stain from some acrylic paint I accidentally smeared in. Basically, The Pink Stuff works miracles, as long as you put in some elbow grease (and tears).

Product 3- Fizzy Drinks, Juice or a Go-to Party Drink

It’s 2022 and not everyone drinks, so it’s nice to have an alternative for those social events. For those who do drink, awesome, do your thing. But for those who don’t, you want to have a good time without compromising on your beliefs. That’s why I recommend you always have a non-alcoholic drink in your room, ready for any last-minute plans or pres. After all, those who drink alcohol probably keep a supply too – it’s way cheaper than getting drunk when you’re out. Lemonade is always a good one, which many of your drinker friends might steal to put in their
squadka. Of course, there’s other fizzy (Coke, fruit punch, ginger beer) but you also have the option to go for some juice. Maybe grab a Shloer or two for something vaguely bubbly, or cartons of cranberry juice, orange juice and pineapple juice. Heck- mix ‘em all together! If you are after something more authentic, Tesco sell non-alcoholic booze. I’m not a fan of beer myself, but I know they’ve got a decent range.

 
So, just because you don’t drink, don’t let it hold you back! There is absolutely no issue with circling without drinking, going to clubs and even bars. You’ll have a good time either way. Plus, you’ll save money.

Product 4- Earphones

Take the hit and invest in a pair of decent earphones. Trust me, you’ll need them. Between the study sessions, blocking out partygoers and general good vibes, they’ll sure come in use. Surrounded by idiots? Put in earphones. Need to read but finding it boring? Get the audiobook or watch a summary. Got a 9am but people outside are shouting? Block them out. Earphones will solve at least 30% of your problems, I guarantee it, but don’t ask for proof. Which, in the grand scheme of things, is quite a few. Plus, you can make the most of UNIDAYS or the McDonald’s Monopoly and get some discounts. 

Product 5- Polos and Sucky Sweets

Don’t @ me, but sucky sweets are underrated. You may be reminded of your grandma, but she knows her stuff! Sucky sweets are great for when you’re peckish but not enough to eat something, for when you’re bored and trying not to fiddle and, my personal favourite, reducing anxiety in/around campus. In fact, I’ve found that chewing on something absent-mindedly can improve your focus, allowing you to stim whilst listening to the lecturer. 

And now, I leave you. Best of luck freshers and don’t forget to grab your shopping bags!

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