Let’s talk about sex. Sex is important. It can be orgasmically life changing. It can lead to a relationship, and later, love. It can also scar your brain with awkwardness. Sometimes (hopefully not too often) sex is forgettable.
Sex is something most young people think about on a day-to-day basis, and is inevitably an ongoing theme in our college years. Recently, I read a Huffington Post article, 15 Types of Sex You Have in Your 20s, and was inspired to think about different types of sex you can have at WashU. Come on, you know what I’m talking about. From floorcest freshman year, to one-night stands, to awfully drunken sex you forget the next day, sex comes in many different varieties- both good and bad. Here is my attempt to categorize 4 years of college into 10 different experiences.
- Bad Sex
Bad sex happens. We all wish it didn’t, but it does. Let’s be honest, some college men and college women are not as experienced as others. That boy may look like he knows what he’s doing on the dance floor at Mandarin, but it could be a different story in between the Twin XL sheets. Like all other activities, sex is confusing and awkward at first, but improves with experience and practice. Unfortunately, some WashU students are lacking experience. And sometimes…even practice doesn’t make perfect. So go ahead, treat yourself with a half-and-half to make up for it.
- Drunk Sex
Drunken sex is almost inevitable as a college student. Friday and Saturday nights are fueled with alcohol, and this alcohol fuels the libido. With every shot of vodka, your sexual desire strengthens, but your common sense may weaken. We’ve all been drunk enough and desperate enough to text an old flame, or maybe you’re drunk enough and brave enough to text a new guy or girl who caught your eye. Drunken sex can be bad and sloppy, but it can be great. Let’s hope for the latter, and maybe we won’t feel as guilty in the morning.
- Friend Sex
Friend sex usually fits into the category of drunken sex because it first happens when inhibitions are low. WashU is small, and sometimes you have to revert to people you have previously friend-zoned. Friend sex isn’t a bad thing, though. It can be surprisingly good because you are comfortable with the person. Relationships could even come out of friend sex. Just make sure you’re prepared to lose a platonic friend, because sharing a study room with someone you’ve seen naked definitely feels different than sharing a study room with your weekly carvery lunch date.
- One-Night Stand Sex
One-night stands aren’t the best. Again, they usually happen drunkenly, and are usually highly regretted. When they happen, there is a high chance you will run into that guy or girl in Whispers, and try to hide your face. Don’t make one-night stands your go-to type of sex, but if it happens once or twice, don’t beat yourself up. Just put your high heels back on and feel amused on your walk back to the 40 by the fact that you just cuddled with a stranger.
- Formal-Date Sex
This category has been highly debated at WashU. Is sex an expectation for all formal dates? What if you’ve been set up and don’t know the person? Of course, sex should never be an expectation or a requirement in exchange for a formal invitation. But ideally, you will choose to go to an event with someone you like and are attracted to. That way, you won’t feel pressured to have sex; you will want to have sex.
- You-Live-In-My-Dorm Sex
This type of sex is all about the convenience. We all know someone who has committed convenience sex, or maybe we have committed it ourselves. Freshman year was all about the floorcest, and it happened a lot on my freshman floor (Park 2 shout out!). As we get older, convenience sex does not go away. No one can deny that when you live off campus, you are much more inclined to have sex with someone in your neighborhood. Convenient sex can still be great!
- In Love Sex
WashU is a datey school, so this type of sex probably happens a lot. If you’re lucky enough to find a great match in college, you’re also lucky to have constant, passionate sex. No matter what anyone says, sex is so much better when it actually means something. Who says foreplay can’t be a date at Ibby’s?
- Vacation Sex
Vacation sex happens off of WashU’s campus, when we venture back to our hometowns for the holidays. This type of sex spices up any time at home, and is something more to look forward to than just good food, movies, and your big cozy bed. If you’re single at WashU and looking for fun, enjoy this no-strings attached sex the next time you’re on vacation.
- On-Campus Sex
This kind of sex is for the big and the brave. Whether it’s the Law School, the library, or Millbrook Parking lot, risky sex is hot sex. The fear of getting caught makes it that much better, and you’ll never want to go back to your boring bed again. Don’t actually get caught- that would just be embarrassing for everyone involved. Be cautious and pretend you may get caught.
- That was…amazing Sex
Sometimes, you just have to say this out loud after you have sex. And if you have never had sex this good, I’m sorry. Sex this good, you’ll be daydreaming about it for weeks. You will want to recreate it over and over again. This is the type of sex everyone should be having in college; no one should settle for anything less. Don’t be afraid to be verbal about want you want. It will be so worth it.
Image courtesy of FREEdom of Speech