I think for some people, the concept of having children is something they’ve known since they were little. I had never felt that way. Although I don’t have children and don’t plan on having them any time soon, I’ve felt strongly about the way in which I would raise a child. While I write this, I don’t speak for all Gen-Zers and I want to acknowledge there are many exceptions or what ifs of this topic, so please take this opinion piece with a grain of salt.
In my opinion, I think people who get to a point in their lives where they are looking to have a child, can truly answer yes to this question.
For as long as your child does not willingly spread hate and/or violence, will you accept them for who they could be? Not what you expect them to be, but who they could be. Using social media, people share intimate stories of how their parents disowned them due to being LGBTQIA+, choosing a different career path, how they choose to express themselves, leaving a certain religion, and many more. It’s saddening to see how these parents turn to shut out their children, ignoring a piece of important information they shared, or resorting to violence in an expression to show their disapproval of their child. Why would you have a child if you will not accept them for whoever they could be?
I’ve also never understood yelling for no reason or laying a hand on your kids. In situations where parents chose to or decided to have a child and their claim is “I raised you, I gave birth to you.. I get to do what I want.” I have never understood that mindset. As a parent, it’s one of the first forms of a relationship that a child experiences. And when they experience love expressed through anger, it stays with them possibly onto their own children.
By physically hurting your children from a young age, you teach them that it’s okay for someone to hit you because it means they love you. You’re teaching your children to normalize violent acts in relationships where people claim to love you.
More specifically on yelling, I mean yelling at children or belittling them by calling them names I’ve also never understood. I saw a video on TikTok not too long ago of a mom repeatedly calling her son names and taking a video of him crying. This person rewatched this video and thought, “HAHA, I’m so funny! I love belittling my children and making them feel bad about themselves because I have such low self-esteem! Time to post <3."
I don’t understand what it’s like to have children, but I don’t need to have children to understand that parents shouldn’t treat their children like that. Some may see my perspective as naive, but I see it as treating children as small human beings. If you were crying and were not able to communicate why, do you think someone screaming at you would help? There are parents who put children’s emotions in the category of “not important” simply because they are children. This should be a bigger reason why their emotions should be prioritized. They are young and have not learned the proper ways to express emotions, they need their PARENT to help guide them through healthier ways of dealing with their emotions.
Gentle parenting should be encouraged more. My definition of gentle parenting is being patient and kind with children’s actions and mistakes. Obviously, if they continue to not listen or resort to throwing a tantrum then another healthier route of discipline can be taken. Gentle parenting doesn’t mean you let your kid walk all over you. It means showing them kindness and giving them the opportunity to show you how they can do better.
If I ever get to a point in my life where I wanted children, all I would want for them is to be passionately kind. Unabashed in every expression of love that goes beyond what I could possibly comprehend. They will know there is no need to settle for a life they do not want. I want them to know that their present and future are not set in stone. They will know that I will be a safe space for them in all aspects of life. I want them to live without fear if what they ask of me is too much or too obvious. They will know I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.