Stereotypes can be dangerous, especially if they blind you from meeting a potential significant other. Dating stereotypes is a topic that I rarely talk about with either family or friends, but I know how important it is to acknowledge the stereotypes that are out there to understand how they can overgeneralize groups of people in sometimes misleading ways and ignore individuality. I acknowledge that we need to have a standard in finding someone that we would want to date or marry such as religion, attractiveness, social status, or the family background of that person. But I still do not understand how some people still stereotype others and would shy away from the relationship solely because of a preconception that they have about that particular group.
Race:
People often just want to be in their comfort zone, so they are not willing to take a risk to date someone outside of their race. Stereotypes that I’ve heard include,
“Oh, he’s white, so there is a high chance that he is going to cheat/play with you.”
“Yeah, but white people are never going to take dating seriously.”
“She is an Asian; she is probably just another gold digger.”
“He is black; you shouldn’t date a black man because…” (usually without reason, solely because of their race).
Some of you may have heard of these before and some might be surprised by those statements. Yes, it is ridiculous. One reason for these preconceptions can be because of how media affects our way of thinking about the group that particular person belongs to. My friend reminded me, “isn’t it like when you watched American Pie and thought all Americans were jerks.” I think that once you expose yourself to a diverse community, you start to understand how those stereotypes are not accurate. I think everyone should at least take a chance, because you never know how much you can learn from different people whose background, culture, and traditions are different from yours.
Looks:
Some people also stay with someone just because they are handsome or beautiful. I think it’s fine to be with someone that you feel attracted to, but when relationship depends solely on that, wanting to “show off” to the world that you have an attractive partner, that’s when it becomes a mistake.
Also, it’s easy to make snap judgements based on how people’s appearances. If someone looks sweet and innocent, you might assume that they are a nice person on the inside too. If they always go to church, you might assume they’re pious and devout. No, this is an absolute no-no, you cannot assess someone’s faith based on how much they go to church, how much money they give to the charity, etc. It is because faith is the act of the heart and no other person than them would know the intentions of their deeds and how much they hold on to that belief.
A quick judgment of someone that looks innocent or perfect is wrong because you cannot see what is on the inside. Sounds cliché but, “don’t judge a book by its cover!” You never know who someone is inside until you actually get to know them.
Wealth:
You want someone to be able to support your family, yes, but when excessive wealth becomes a top priority in meeting someone, it can be dangerous too.
“He doesn’t have a car though; I would not want to date him.”
“What car does he have?”
“He’s definitely has to pay every time we go out.”
Money is important, you need money for everything, but when does it get to materialistic level? Would you want to date a guy who plays with many girls as long as he has a Ferrari? I hope the answer is no. This is also important since I came from a southeast Asian country, the mindset of being white means rich, and I doubt it is true. Being a particular of race or having a particular skin color does not mean you are richer or poorer.
Give a chance, go out of your comfort zone, or at least befriend with someone outside your race. Be open and willing to make friends with someone that looks different than you (it’s not going to hurt you—people don’t usually bite). Do not let media, the way someone looks, or money blinded you from meeting a person that could have a significant impact on your life, romantic or not.