UW had a historic football season this year, and I didn’t go to a single game. This was mostly because I always had work on Saturdays, and didn’t want to spend money on a sport I don’t tend to be that invested in. I’ve never been that into sports, but I had fun going to football games last year because it was my freshman year and I was excited about showing school spirit. This year, dropping $200 on a Dawg Pack ticket just didn’t feel as worth it. Of course, this was the year our team was 14-1, made it to the championship, and had ESPN College Gameday come to our campus. But again, I normally don’t tune in to ESPN anyway.
I spent the entirety of fall quarter telling myself I was happy with my choices, because I was saving money, getting more done on the weekends, and football isn’t really my thing. But every time I saw an Instagram post of my friends or acquaintances decked out in purple, I felt that familiar pang of FOMO. The more games we won, the more the hype grew, and so did that FOMO. This was also a year that the Apple Cup, a yearly rivalry between UW and WSU, took place at our stadium, so attendance was high. I debated going, but still stuck with my regular shift at work, gaining about $100 instead of spending likely more than that. Sure enough, my feed flooded with not only my UW friends partying and going to the game, but also people I grew up with, since everyone was in town for Thanksgiving weekend. My FOMO was mixed with jealousy, at those familiar faces who throughout our college application process kept repeating “I don’t really want to go to UW,” “I’d rather go to a smaller school than a state school,” or especially, “I just want to go somewhere out of state.” At the time, I shared these sentiments, and yet ended up staying in-state because UW was the most affordable option for me. Seeing people who swore up and down they’d never attend the school I reluctantly ended up at suddenly declaring their hometown pride and undying love for UW was painfully ironic. Meanwhile, I actually go to this school, and hadn’t attended a game all season.
Where’s my sense of UW pride? But, I didn’t even want to go here either, I kept thinking.
Declaring that you’d rather choose a private or out-of-state school that is undoubtedly more expensive than the (still reputable!) school in your home city displays an immense amount of privilege. That fact was not lost on me as I spent my Saturdays wearing my UW sweatshirt on the light rail to my part-time job, on a train filled with fans wearing their own merch on the way to that weekend’s game. Additionally, having the means to fly back and forth to Seattle and buy tickets to those football games is even more of a privilege. Thus, my FOMO this football season was not just about missing out on a chance to hang out with people from my own college, but also about my resentment at not being able to afford the various out-of-state schools I wanted to attend instead. It did not feel good to be in my hometown 24/7, while my peers got to go far away to their dream schools that might not even have football teams, and come back whenever they pleased just to root for mine.
This put me in a really awkward position as our team’s winning streak continued, and Seattlites and non-resident UW students alike continued showing their support. I felt isolated from both groups, unsure whether I should root for a team I had never felt that excited about. I wasn’t the only one of my friends who hadn’t been watching the games, but being a Seattle local made me feel more obligated to.
The one game I watched this season was the Washington vs. Texas semifinal. I watched it from my friend’s couch on New Year’s Day, because it was the rare occasion I had nothing better to do than watch football. We spent most of the time chatting about other things, but when it got down to the last 10 minutes and a tight score, we were tuned in. And for the first time, after years of going to high school football games (which definitely aren’t the peak of the sport, sorry Lions) or watching the New York Giants over my dad’s shoulder, I cared enough to understand the rules. Normally, my philosophy with football is that I’m just a girl and I don’t need to know what’s going on. Watching this game, I started to understand the appeal a little more–not enough to devote every single weekend to it, but enough that I might make more of an effort to attend the games next year.
Ultimately, it probably wasn’t the act of watching football that I enjoyed as much as the experience of getting together with friends to root for something. I feel the most pride for my school when I get to spend time with the cool people I met here, who share my interests and make me feel like my college experience is worth it.