As a first-year who was pretty good at acing my high school essays, I was rudely awakened when I found out that my first university essay had to be eight pages. I mean I can totally whip up three pages in no time. Four pages would probably still be not too bad…but eight pages?! What does the prof want me to write for EIGHT FREAKING PAGES?! Anyways, here are the stages of my essay writing process
1. Yeah, it’s not due until next month.
There’s still an entire month ‘til the essay is due and I can probably get it done in a few days. No rush. That’s plenty of time to chill, sleep, eat and watch netflix. Plus, it looks pretty easy to do anyways.
2. It’s due in a week?
Yeah, I’ll just start it tomorrow…after I study for my exam, chill a bit, and watch one more Youtube video. No big deal.
3. Alright, it’s due in two days.
Ok, I really gotta start sometime soon. AKA now. OMG why is this so hard? EIGHT PAGES? With an annotated bibliography? Why so much??? And the sources have to be within a certain time period? UGGHHHH. How does one write essays?
4. Time to choose a topic.
So there are four different topics…and I don’t like any of them. Well, Sarah said she chose police brutality in Canada, so I guess I’ll do the same.
5. Got the first paragraph down.
Yes, finally after half an hour, I wrote one paragraph. Break time!
6. Gotta start on the thesis.
Since the thesis is the most important part of an essay, I’ll start there. Once I have that down, everything else should come like a breeze.
7. Break!
OK. Now back to taking a nap, since I’m done the first part.
8. Due tomorrow.
Oh gosh, I really gotta finish the rest of this tonight – it’s due tomorrow! Still got seven pages left to do though…maybe one more video?
9. Gotta finish that essay now.
Time to finish that essay now. Got my XL coffee and my laptop; time to attack the essay!
10. Halfway there!
Four more pages to write! Time to blast through the remaining portion!
11. Alright, conclusion.
One last paragraph, thank god! Just 300 more words to go!
12. DONE!
I’m finally done the essay hoot hoot! HIP HIP HOORAY!!! *does happy dance* I should probably read it over and edit it, but I’m too dead tired at this point. Oh well. Who cares if I lose a few marks over grammar/spelling errors anyways? I’m done!
Good luck with those essays!