Being in a new relationship can be a great time. You’re all happy and bubbly that you get to do new coupley things that you weren’t doing when you were single. It can be easy to get carried away when you’re being swept off your feet. But when this happens, you may start noticing problems in different areas of your life. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re head over heels for your new special someone.
1. You can’t spend every waking moment with your significant other
Especially in the honeymoon phase, you may want to spend a large amount of time with your new bae, going on dates, trying new activities, and simply being in each others’ presence. But I hate to break it to you babe, you simply cannot spend every moment with your new boo. I mean, even married couples use the washroom alone sometimes. Spending time apart from your S/O is natural and healthy. It gives you time to pursue activities that your S/O isn’t interested in, reflect on who you are outside of your relationship, and gives you something to talk about when you do come back together. Also, when you have priorities that require your full attention, your boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn’t end up being a distraction. If they’re a reasonable human being, they will understand when you say you need take the night to study and write that paper that’s worth 40% of your final mark.
2. You have to balance your friendships too
I will admit that this one has been particularly difficult for me in the past, so I’m very hard on myself if I think I’m not balancing my relationships well. The important thing to remember is that healthy relationships – including friendships – need quality time and attention to grow. A good way to balance your relationships is to schedule dedicated time with the important people in your life separately. This way, whoever you’re hanging out with gets your full attention and you can better enjoy your time together. Group activities can be great too, but only if both parties agree on it. Be considerate and give some heads up if you want to invite someone else to an outing or activity, especially if your S/O and your bffs don’t run in the same circles.
3. Your relationship is with a person and not the internet
There is no need to chronicle every little moment of your relationship online. Firstly, because you should be cherishing the moment through your own eyes and not via Instagram. Secondly, because not everyone needs or wants to know. Announcing important or celebratory moments online is fine, but if you are spending more of your time together on the phone rather than making eye contact and talking, it’s probably a bad sign. Another rule of thumb: don’t ever talk badly about anyone in a public forum on the internet, especially your S/O. If you have an issue, take it up privately in person. Don’t involve people who don’t need to be involved, it’s just not classy.
4. Sometimes people won’t be as supportive of your relationship as you want them to be
Though it may be incomprehensible to you that someone does not think your S/O is as amazing as you think they are, it happens. People are entitled to their own opinion of other people, within reason of course. A good thing to remember is that your S/O doesn’t need to be bffs with your bffs. Generally, if your friends tolerate and accept your S/O and vice versa, then everything is hunky dory. However, if someone important in your life has a major issue with someone else, you may have to stop and consider some different viewpoints. You may want to have a one-on-one talk with whomever is having an issue to see if it is a misunderstanding or whether someone needs to take action to repair a relationship.
Entering a new relationship can be a wonderful and happy time in your life, but it can also become problematic if you’re not careful. With any big change in your life, adjustments will need to be made. After all, life is pretty much one big balancing act. Hopefully these little reminders will help keep you balanced and happy.