I’ll say it — I’m not a fan of kids. Or babies. Honestly, I’m very unlikely to enjoy interacting with anyone under the age of 12.
I’m not saying that maliciously, like I’d push a kid over for talking to me, or be mean to them in any way. I’ve just never been good with children, and never had a desire to be around them.
Growing up, my older sister was always a huge fan of babies, so she handled all the baby responsibilities at social gatherings. Crying newborn needs to be held? My sister was there to coddle. Toddler wants someone to play with them? My sister was there to entertain. Friends or family need a babysitter? Well, you get the picture. Granted, she’s changed her mind in the last few years, and doesn’t want any children of her own either. I can’t say I blame her.
As for me, my resume never had babysitting on it as my first job, and I’ve only babysat once in my life. Plus, I’m pretty sure I didn’t even get paid. Even if I was offered money, twelve-year-old me would rather scrub my grandmas’ windows until my arm fell off and vacuumed every square-inch of her house for a paycheck, than spend it monitoring screeching children — which is exactly what I did. With no regrets.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate children. I have two young cousins that I love with all my heart, but if someone has to play with them after a family dinner, I can promise you I won’t be the first to volunteer as tribute. My family’s always taken my disdain towards kids as something I’ll grow out of, and my mom chides me with phrases like, “At your age, I didn’t like kids either.” Yet when I tell them I don’t want children, they act surprised and tell me I’m wrong. As if I haven’t just spent the last nineteen years of my life avoiding children like the plague.
I’m pretty set in my ways though, and I don’t see why my reasons should be overlooked. It’s just not for me, and I reached that conclusion years ago.
Call me selfish, but I want to retire early. I want to enjoy my life. I want my alarm clock to be a classic iPhone sound at a reasonable time, not a crying baby at 5am. I want to spend my holidays going on romantic getaways with my future partner, not taking trips to family-friendly resorts and dealing with a toddler on an airplane. I want to focus on my career, my relationship, and my peace of mind. Plus, I enjoy the occasional shopping spree, so I will definitely not be putting aside 50 grand for a college education.
It seems like I’m not the only one who feels this way. Half of my friend group doesn’t want children, and a lot of Gen Z-ers are choosing not to have children too. Nowadays, people are realizing the many benefits to not having children. I get why my Baby Boomer grandparents wouldn’t understand this perspective; times were different back then. Society made us believe that females were solely put on this earth to give birth and raise a family, and if you didn’t, you were failing yourself as women.
With all the progression we’ve made in women’s rights, and people coming to the conclusion that we (females) actually deserve to have a future of our own, birth rates have started plummeting. Women under 30 have become much less likely to have children, and global average fertility rates have dropped by half over the last fifty years. Education and careers have become a priority for a lot of people, which has inevitably delayed starting a family. People want to be financially and mentally stable enough to do so first, and live a good portion of their lives for themselves. They’ve started to realize the downsides of having children, like losing free time, privacy, money, career opportunities, and sacrificing the majority of your adulthood — not to mention changing diapers, wiping snot, and enduring the excruciating pain of childbirth.
Despite all those reasons (which may seem rather cynical to some), I do see the beauty in raising a child and starting a family. It’s always been a part of life. I completely understand why some people are fuelled by that, and I can see why people who share my perspective might change their minds in ten years. And I’m completely okay with that. I’m not going to hate on someone for wanting kids. You like what you like, and if you want to raise a child, then I will admire your dedication and hard work. It works the other way too, though. Some people, like my sister, grow up loving kids, and still end up not wanting to become a parent. So, don’t hate on people for not wanting kids.
It’s not a crime to not want children. It’s time for society to accept that there’s more to life than “carrying on your bloodline.” We’re humans, not breeding machines. We deserve to think about what we want and what we can handle before bringing a child into this world. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing yourself.