Your 20s, the period in your life when you can drink legally, experience freedom, graduate college (and then find a job), fall in love, and quickly become an adult. According to everyone else, your 20s are to be jam packed to ensure that these are the best years of your life. It doesn’t help that while you’re supposed to be building all of these experiences, you’re also supposed to be a well-rounded person. These outside voices have led to an expectation that when I turn 20 I will have it “all” together. The reality is that I turn 20 years-old next month, and I feel severely underprepared.
As far as I can remember, I always thought 20-year-olds were so grown up. When I was in high school and my friends who had graduated turned 20, I almost saw them differently. I saw a freedom that they had of not having to go to school, they had full time jobs or moved out. Now that I’m on the verge of my 20s I feel this immense pressure to know what I want to do with this next chapter in my life. Coming into college, I knew what I wanted to do as a profession and where I wanted to live. I had a concrete “plan” of how my life would pan out and most of my plan would be accomplished in my early-mid 20s. I went from planning on being a married, home owning, teacher who would live in the same state her whole life, to someone who truly has no idea what the next month will look like.
Sitting in the unknown has been a rude awakening. I grew up with the expectation of staying up late and going out in my early 20s, listening to people tell me this age is my only chance to live freely. When each weekend comes and I’m curled up with a book, I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong.
For the majority of my sophomore year I thought I was the only girl at college that felt so out of place. I didn’t want to admit that I was lost in what I wanted to do and felt like I didn’t fit in with the 20s culture. When I told my friends about it I was pleasantly surprised to find out they were sitting with me in the unknown. When I learned I wasn’t alone, I thought, why does no one else talk about not having it all together?
Why does no one say that you’re allowed to slow down in your 20s? Why does no one say that you’re allowed to call your mom for advice? Why does no one say that you’re allowed to cry because you’re overwhelmed?
Life and especially your 20s aren’t constantly measured in what you have to do, instead it’s measured in the things, people, and experiences that make you happy, not anyone else. Getting over my own standard of having it “all together” has made going into my 20s a lot more manageable. If you are going into your 20s or are in them, remember that you are exactly where you need to be. Do the things that make you feel alive and remind you that everything will be okay because it will be .