Every once in a while, the internet finds a new show to obsess over, and there seems to be a trend in the favor of reality TV. While this year’s seasons of The Bachelor and Love Island USA successfully broadened the fan bases of both shows, many have been waiting for something new to capture our attention. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives has done just that as it has takenthe online world by storm since the first season’s premiere on September 6th. So much so that it has dethroned The Kardashians as the most popular reality show on Hulu.Â
The show follows the lives of 8 Mormon moms who have become famous TikTok influencers over the years. They built their brands around motherhood and their faith. They’ve been so successful on social media that each of them are considered the breadwinner of their household. After the creation of “MomTok” (the official name for the group as coined by supposed ringleader, Taylor Frankie Paul), they were scooped up for a reality TV show due to plenty of drama between the women.Â
While many viewers have taken to recreating the moms’ Swig soda shop orders or prying into the current relationship statuses of each couple, by the end of the 8 episodes I found myself more focused on the aspects of friendship that the show gave light to. I think a main takeaway has been that Whitney Leavitt, one of the moms, is the “villain” of the season. But why? The moms of MomTok repeatedly stated that they were a close knit, supportive group of girls. What caused the downfall of their friendship with Whitney and what can we, as viewers, take away about how to avoid drama in our own friend groups?Â
There were two main issues that I believe led to Whitney infamously leaving the groupchat and falling out with all of MomTok. One of these issues was talking about each other behind backs, and the other was not taking accountability for mistakes. When you are a part of such a large friend group, smaller groups are bound to form and certain girls will get closer than others. Although that is expected, we should not normalize talking about others in negative ways, or sharing personal information about one another.Â
It was evident which moms tended to lean into the gossiping and those who did not in order to remain respectful. Those girls seemed to be more secure in their friendships and got less screen time, which ultimately meant they were leading less drama-filled lives at the time of filming. Â
Both Whitney and another mom, Demi, were a bit caught up as a result of their gossiping habit during a girls trip. The difference between them was that Demi apologized directly to Taylor, whom she had hurt. Whitney denied that she did anything wrong and actually doubled down on it, telling Demi she would do it again. Ultimately, this led the other moms to seriously change how they felt about Whitney in the long run.Â
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives provides a perfect opportunity for all of us to do some introspection into our own friend groups and pinpoint what we can do to better support each other and respect each other. To maintain a larger friend group, you have to make plans often, support each other in all things, openly communicate, and both apologize directly to the person you’ve hurt and make it known to the rest of the group that you are accepting your faults. Nobody is a perfect friend, but we can all be good friends! I think the process of filming for reality TV probably brought the moms closer than ever and it’s clear that they learned a lot of hard lessons about maintaining friendships. We can also take those lessons and put them to use in our own lives!