F*ckboys. Every girl has dated, met or at least heard of one at some point in her life. For those of you who have not had the pleasure, a f*ckboy can generally be defined as a guy who is obsessed with sex and will do anything to get it. He is manipulative and generally a little (or a lot) creepy. If (heaven forbid) you don’t hook up with the f*ckboy, he will likely begin to lose interest and stop talking to you, save for the occasional “U up ;)” text at 2 a.m.
I asked the ladies of Her Campus Western Ontario about their own experiences. Read on to learn more about how to spot (and run away from) a f*ckboy!
1. “He says he’s ‘never met someone like you’ or ‘you’re not like other girls.’”
*eye roll*
2. “He tells you he’s ‘just not ready for a relationship’ or ‘not a commitment place right now.’”
But he still expects you to sleep with him.
3. “All of your conversations go back to your ‘experience.’”
Him: “Let’s play 20 questions”
You: “Okay”
Him: “How many people have you slept with? What’s the dirtiest thing you’ve ever done? Where’s the craziest place that you’ve ever had sex?”
You:
4. “He claims he’s too big to wear a condom.”
Yeah, okay.
5. “He poses like he’s on a mission.”
If he has a signature pose or face he makes in all of his photos, it’s probably best to steer clear
6. “He starts calling you ‘babe’ within minutes of meeting you.”
Dude, five minutes ago you didn’t know I existed and now I’m your “babe”?
7. “He turns everything you say into symbolic proof of your sexuality.”
“Example:
You: Sometimes I wear sweatpants two days in a row
Him: You have a dirty side to you, hey? ;)”
8. “He unironically dresses as ‘Tinder’ or ‘Netflix and Chill’ for Halloween.”
And asks girls if they would “swipe right” on him all night.
9. “What he says and what he does contradict.”
10. “He talks about women at bars like they’re prey.”
11.“He asks you to hook up with his friend too because ‘he’s sad.’”
Sharing is caring, right?
12. “He has a man bun.”
13. “He asks you to bring a friend for his friend.”
We wouldn’t want them to be lonely, now would we?
14. “He asks you to bring a friend to the party so you’ll be entertained while he prowls.”
Why would he talk to the girl he invited when there might be hotter, more exciting girls he can talk to?
15. “His cover photo is an advertisement for Frog or another bar.”
And he isn’t even a promoter.
16. “He has condoms hidden in every crevice of his vehicle/outfit/wallet/fridge.”
17. “He uses the term ‘finger blast.’”
Please stop.
18. “He has Tinder premium.”
19. “When you say you’re into women too and he says ‘that’s hot’ or ‘does that mean we can have a threesome?’”
He may do this when you mention that you’re straight too.
20. “He overuses the wink or smirk emoji.”
Nobody winks that much in real life.
21. “He owns drop crotch pants.”
No explanation needed.
22. “He only responds to messages when he thinks the conversation is going somewhere (i.e.: the bedroom).”
23. “He pushes your head down when you’re hooking up.”
24. “He asks if he can take photos of you while you’re hooking up so he can prove to his high school friends that they should choose Western because ‘the girls are so slutty.’”
“I wish I was kidding.”
25. “He sends you unsolicited dick pics…over iMessage.”
26. “He tells you his ex is crazy.”
Yeah, crazy for ever dating you.
27. “He’s been to Prohibition.”
Enough said.
28. “He has a huge ego.”
Why no, I didn’t know that you are, in fact, God’s gift to women! Please, tell me more!
29. “He says ‘Trust me, I’m a nice guy.’”
Don’t trust him.
30. “He tries to explain to you that sex isn’t a big deal.”
Sure, ask to put your dick inside me five minutes after we meet, NBD.
31. “He talks badly about his ex or past sexual partners.”
32. “I’m an independent situation, I’m not like those other guys.”
Suuuuuuuure.
33. “He makes a Snapchat account under an alias so he can snap you without his girlfriend knowing.”
Who even does this?!?!
34. “He makes up things about himself to seem more impressive.”
Emphasizing something about yourself to impress me is one thing, but if you’re telling me that you play for Team Canada, tutor disadvantaged children, are in a band and cured cancer last weekend, there’s no way I’m believing that.
35. “He uses politically incorrect language like the ‘R word.’”
*All submissions are anonymous