I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions. They have always given me a negative vibe and not been as helpful as I hope them to be. They were just a way for my mind to dwell on all the things I have to fix in my life and what was not accomplished the year before. Instead, I’ve adopted the habit of not creating resolutions but reflecting on what good things I have done for myself or experienced the year before that I want to continue. This year, I’m taking that concept of looking back on what things worked to make my life feel more full and consistently happy, and applying that to a set of on-going goals for myself.
With resolutions, there comes a lot of pressure to jump into January and tick off certain items on some list to be resolved right away. But, reality check! Nothing gets solved overnight and if you go into the year with all this pressure to get things right within the first week, then it’s going to be a tough 2020. This mindset is what inspired the first thing on my list of what I want to focus on this year:
1. Be Kinder to Myself
Like most students in university, I set high standards for myself to do well. Not just in school, but in all areas of my life. This, obviously, can be taxing, and it takes a lot out of me to constantly keep up this persona of everything going great while trying to just power through the bad stuff. It can get to the point where I find myself crashing and experiencing the oh-so-common and dreaded burnout that I’m sure most of you can relate to. So this year, I want to work on being kinder to myself and my body. Meaning, I am going to readjust the standards I set for myself to allow for moments where I can dwell in my emotions and not feel like I have to live up to this impossible standard of perfection. It also means being patient with myself; nothing will be fixed overnight. I am my own worst critic, and for 2020 I’m working on lessening that stress I put on myself to always be okay.
2. Manifest
This past year I got really into manifestation because of one of my housemates. Manifesting is more than just putting positive energy out in the world hoping it will come back your way. To manifest something is to bring into your daily life a desire or goal you have for yourself. When you manifest something successfully into your life, it’s because you consciously called it forward and chose to attract that desire or thing. It is all about embracing the power of your thoughts and choices and how you can realistically bring about change. As someone who always second-guesses themselves, I’ve always been fascinated by learning to trust and follow my intuition. Manifesting helps me work on trusting what it is I want for myself and trusting how I can create positive thoughts and actions that will work to bring about that change or desire in my life. Regardless of whether what I have been manifesting actually works, it has helped me to allow myself to want things I normally wouldn’t have allowed energy for in my life and has created a more positive mindset. So this is something I want to continue in 2020 and work on even more.
3. Create a Space for Romantic Love
This next point links to my goal with manifestation. Like I said, manifestation has allowed me to become okay with wanting certain things I have usually considered to be luxuries or something I don’t have the time for. For 2020, I want to continue creating space for things in my life that I haven’t previously created a lot of space for, one of those things being romantic love. Dating is tough, people!! We know this. I look at it and think that I would much rather spend my time with my friends that I adore and the hobbies I love to do. Dating was never something I prioritized. But now, heading into 2020, I feel more fulfilled when it comes to all the other areas of life that my romantic one is now the only space lacking the same attention. So I figured, why not work on this? I deserve to find romantic love just as much as the next person and I shouldn’t feel guilty for choosing to make it a new priority for myself.
4. Learn What Self-Care Looks Like For Me
The last few years have been big in terms of the self-care movement. Online, this looks like a good face mask paired with a glass of wine while sitting in a luxurious bathtub filled with Lush products. As much as this image appeals to me, it is just not realistic for my little student lifestyle. This past year I have also learned that as much as I adore a Sephora sheet mask and some boxed wine, it does nothing to actually help my stress levels, and I end up coming out of it still feeling anxious about all of life’s responsibilities. I’m not saying that self-care is going to make all of your troubles disappear, but I personally want to work on finding what I can do for myself in 2020 that will nourish my body and help me cope with any stress I may have. Self-care is not a catch-all and looks different for every person. I think it’s important to spend the time figuring out what works best for me and create healthy habits to deal with any anxiety that comes from starting a new year.
I hope some of these goals inspire a resolution or two on your list that you wouldn’t have thought of otherwise! And remember, you don’t have to cross them all off in the first month. You have the whole year to figure it out!
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