Yes, it happens. And girls, admit it – when it does happen, we love it. It’s a feeling better than taking a cold shower after a long, hot day. Better than digging into a plate of food after a juice fast, and even better than finding your cell after frantically tearing your house apart.
But what exactly is a female orgasm? Why do only 25 percent of women achieve one all the time during sex, while more than 90 percent of guys do all of the time? And what can you do to get an orgasm more easily? Compared to the male version, the female orgasm is one of nature’s most interesting and complicated phenomenons.
And guys – don’t worry. We won’t tell if you “accidentally” clicked on this link.
What Is It?
In technical terms, an orgasm is a complex psycho-physiological process that is based on the corresponding processes in the brain. Now, for all of us who don’t speak psychologist, orgasms involve two things: when a woman is turned on, muscle tension builds up around her pelvis, and during an orgasm, this tension releases. The second thing that happens once this tension is released is a flood of hormones. When these two things happen at the same time, intensely pleasurable feelings are felt mainly around the genitals, but also can be felt all over the body.
At first touch of a partner, the brain’s genital sensory cortex fires up. During foreplay, women will feel a warm, sensual rush, which is the result of blood flowing to the vagina and clitoris. The hippocampus (a region of the brain known to evoke dream-like memories) and the amygdala (involved in intense feelings and emotional expression) are activated. The walls of the vagina also become lubricated, breathing speeds up, and the upper part of the vagina expands in order to accommodate a penis, and the lower part of the vagina narrows so it can grip your guy.
At the start of an orgasm, the brain’s cerebellum triggers tension in your butt, abs and thighs. The insula and the anterior cingulate cortex become stimulated in the brain, allowing you to experience more pleasure as it inhibits pain sensors.
The “Big O” is the moment when the vagina, anus, uterus, and other pelvic muscles all contract at 0.8-second intervals. Orgasms can range anywhere from 1-5 strong spasms and up to 15 smaller ones. Muscles in other parts of the body might also contract involuntary – such as your clenched toes and pulled faces. At the height of orgasm, the hypothalamus releases oxytocin, (a.k.a “the love/cuddle hormone”) which causes uterine contractions that deliver those incredible sensations. The “pleasure center” of the brain (the nucleus accumbens) receives dopamine, making your orgasm that much more pleasurable.
More Than One of a Kind
There are actually at least three different kinds of orgasms, all of which can be achieved in different ways, or, with enough practice, all at the same time (yup, it’s possible – it’s called a trigasm).
The first and most common orgasm is the clitoral orgasm where, obviously, clitoral stimulation is necessary. While this type of orgasm can usually be achieved during foreplay, it’s also possible to do during sexual intercourse. Try having sex starting off in the standard military position, then pull your legs together so that your guy’s member stimulates your clit with the friction.
The second is a vaginal orgasm, or as it’s more commonly known, the “G-spot orgasm”. The G-spot is a highly erogenous zone that’s located about 1-2 inches up the front wall of the vagina. This spongy, quarter-size area swells during arousal, and is best reached during the doggie-style, reverse cowgirl, and cowgirl positions.
The third type of orgasm is uterine, where the contractions start from the bottom of the uterus and transfer to the whole body. Though it’s the least common, this orgasm can be reached if you pull your legs toward your chest when your guy is on top, or in the cowgirl position.
Does Size Matter?
Contrary to popular belief, having a successful sex life or achieving orgasm does not require a penis of any particular size. Both clitoral and G-spot orgasms don’t depend on your guy’s size, since they can easily be reached (even by a finger). The male and female sexual organs are a functional system in which the vagina can both stretch a fair amount if the penis is large, and it can also contract tightly for a smaller one.
What’s With the Cuddling?
Though it’s not always the case, you might find yourself with the uncontrollable desire to cuddle your partner after sex, and you get angry with your guy if he starts talking about the newest episode of The Walking Dead or rolls over and falls asleep. This is because during your big moment, an extra amount of oxytocin is released into your body – oxytocin is a hormone that has been linked with the urge to bond, protect, and be affectionate. A recent study at the University of Zurich also found that this cuddle hormone may also be correlated to our ability to trust.
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Faking It
Unless you’re some Sex Superwoman that I don’t know about it, we’ve all faked it at least once. In fact, studies have shown that 60 percent of women are guilty of pulling the fake O-face.
There are tons of reasons why women may fake it, one of them being that they are self-conscious of how long or what it takes for them to climax. When you’re constantly bombarded with images of highly orgasmic and quick-climaxing women in movies, it’s hard not to compare yourself with them. The only way to avoid this is being realistic about your expectations; it can take up to 40 minutes to reach your peak, and most women do not always orgasm during intercourse. But here’s something to take away; a woman’s orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it’s easier for your guy to get you to climax through sex if you’ve already had an orgasm. In other words: think multiple orgasms.
Being self-conscious about your appearance is also a problem women run into, called “spectatoring”. If you’re worrying about how you missed yesterday’s workout and its effect on your cellulite, there’s no way you’ll reach orgasm. Although it may seem counter-productive, the only way to build sexual tension is to relax first.
Another reason a girl may deliver an award-winning performance is that she isn’t emotionally prepared to open up to her partner. Since there is a vulnerability and emotional risk involved in orgasming in front of another person, faking it is a way of keeping your guy at bay. In order to surrender yourself to the experience and stop worrying about being judged, try to turn up the trust in the bedroom by speaking up outside of it. Even simple things like telling your man where you want to eat tonight or confiding in him with a secret or embarrassing story will make you more confident and comfortable letting your guy know what gets you going in between the sheets.
A lot of women also reported that imitating the gasps, heavy breathing, and moans of an orgasm helped not only their partner, but also themselves, get more aroused, in turn resulting in a real orgasm.
And girls, don’t worry about feeling guilty about faking it – guys do it too! According to a study done at the University of Kansas, 25 percent of the men surveyed said that they’ve faked climaxing. Most men said they did it because they couldn’t orgasm soon enough, were bored, tired, or simply just not in the mood.
Not Just A Good Feeling
Besides being an incredible experience, orgasms actually have many health benefits for both men and women. Orgasms reduce stress and help to counter the effects of stress hormones, as well as helping you maintain a balanced and positive attitude. At any age, climaxing improves lubrication, vaginal elasticity, and also helps to maintain the cells lining the vaginal walls. Because of the increased blood flow that occurs during intercourse and orgasm, tissue repair and collagen production are prompted, helping to keep your skin healthy and bright.
Having a Big O is also a great treatment for lung diseases such as asthma. Think of it as yoga for the respiratory system; the deep, rapid, regular breathing involved during sex and climaxing exercises the lungs and helps tone the breathing muscles. They also improve heart health, as sex increases cardiovascular fitness and blood vessel flexibility, which helps in reducing the risk of a stroke.
Orgasms can relieve pain caused by headache, surgery, arthritis and childbirth. The oxytocin released while climaxing trigger the release of feel-good endorphins that help to temporarily alleviate pain. They are also the best weapon against period pain – when the uterus contracts during orgasm, it often helps use up cramp-causing prostaglandins, flush out excess blood and even clear out some of the lining and debris that could flow backward and lead to endometriosis. But if having sex on your period isn’t your thing, don’t worry about it.
Up Your Odds
Now, an article about orgasms wouldn’t be complete unless we gave you some tips on how to get one, would it? Have at it!
Make Foreplay #1
Foreplay is one of the keys to getting your Big O. It takes women longer to get turned on than guys. Not only that, the more aroused you are, the more blood flows to your clitoris and the easier it is to stimulate it during sex.
Mix Things Up
Doing things that your body isn’t used to can lead to surprising pleasure. Trying a variety of activities and positions in the bedroom increases the likelihood of climaxing as opposed to just one act.
Give the C-Spot Attention
Since clitoral orgasms are the most common, it only makes sense to try to stimulate it during sex, in whatever position.
Take a Break
Pressing pause on the action every once in a while helps to build anticipation. It also distracts your guy, making him last longer if he was close to climaxing.
Have Fun
Stop being focused on getting an orgasm – this can actually hinder the process of getting there! Enjoy the moment, feel your guy’s body, and just let it happen.
Work Your Kegels
By doing Kegel exercises and strengthening your pelvic floor muscles, your orgasmic response is also improved. You can do these anytime, anywhere – and no one will know you’re doing them! Just tighten your muscles around your vagina and lift them up – like the tensing you do when you’re stopping your pee.
And Work Them In Bed!
You can also do Kegels during sex to help you orgasm. When you feel yourself getting to a high point, contract and release these muscles – this will enhance the sensations for both you and your partner.
Breathe and Relax
Don’t hold your breath! Oxygen increases blood blow, hence driving arousal .One of the biggest impediments to orgasm is holding your breath. Although men tense up right before they orgasm (it takes force to ejaculate), women need to be relaxed!
Grow Up
Now this isn’t exactly something you can do on command, but like a fine wine, orgasms improve with age. Research has shown that as women get older, they experience more (and not to mention more satisfying) orgasms.
Sources:
http://ezinearticles.com/?All-You-Need-to-Know-About-Female-Orgasm&id=4539259
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/anatomy-of-an-orgasm
http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/sex-tips/10-surprising-facts-about-orgasms-111985
http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/understand_the_female_orgasm/
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/susun-weed/orgasms-improve-overall-health