As my graduation grows closer, I find myself stuck in a funk. I haven’t enjoyed many parts of university, but the end of the world I have known for the past four years seems to be causing an internal dilemma.
I’ve always been fairly resilient, and most of the good things in my life have actually come from bad things.
In ninth grade, after a falling out with my friends, I went and applied to join the school newspaper—and I proceeded to fall in love with writing and move through the ranks of the paper.
In second year of university, after my long-term relationship ended, I applied for a job at The Western Gazette, and I emailed the CC of Her Campus Western Ontario to join the team. At the time, of course, I never could have known that I would land the Gazette job and eventually become the President of HCWO. I made those decisions out of a place of hurt, and a place where I was unsure about my future.
As university comes to an end, I am once again at a crossroads. I’ve applied to a few programs, all of which I am tremendously interested in and would love to complete. But I am also worried, and honestly, so scared—will I make the right choice for me? I have so many options ahead of me, and so much that I could do, and I think that part of the reason why I am so terrified is because I have all of those options. What if I pick something now, and in five years, I am on a path that I don’t want to be on? I could let my anxiety spiral off thinking about every “what if” situation, but I am trying very hard not to do that.
I know that so many times, what has felt like the “end of the world” has lead me to find new opportunities and to expand my horizons, and to find new passions. And I know that whatever I will do in the future, will work out for me, because I will make the most of it, and I won’t do anything that I hate. But right now, it is so hard to look past my graduation and see into my future.